In many countries around the world, obesity is increasing, especially among children. One solution is to increase the tax on food and drinks which contain large amounts of sugar. How effective is this solution? What other measures would be effective?

In contemporary times, some health problems,
such
as obesity gradually become serious.
Therefore
, increasing the tax on high levels of sugary
foods
and drinks may be a solution.
However
, in
this
essay, I contend that
this
measure cannot address these issues thoroughly.
Instead
, teaching
children
how to cultivate correct eating habits might be an advisable method.
To begin
with, increasing the fee of these high sugar levels items can indeed alleviate certain health issues.
This
ensures that the interest in purchasing sneakers can significantly decrease in terms of the group of younger people because they do not have sufficient financial resources to buy their contentment.
Furthermore
,
this
measure is more likely to provide other healthier options.
For instance
, with less attention on these unhealthy goods,
children
are more willing to choose
such
as more protein, more nutrients, and other healthier
foods
and drinks, thereby avoiding obesity-related diseases.
However
,
this
may not be an effective approach because some
children
still have not been taught the hazards of these unhealthy items until now.
Consequently
, to receive adequate knowledge to improve obesity, educational institutions will be a vitally important factor. Schools can provide comprehensive systems to help
children
adjust their diets.
For example
, teachers can illustrate which categories of
foods
or drinks are jeopardous to health,
such
as junk
foods
, cola, and other different high sugar or grease ingredients.
In addition
, providing some disease figures may be another effective approach. Pictures of diabetes, heart diseases, and obesity can considerably remind students about the drawbacks of these problems, thereby avoiding similar situations. In conclusion, raising taxes on unhealthy goods can indeed provide some benefits.
Nevertheless
, I firmly believe that education may be a more accessible choice. Not only can cultivate correct healthy concepts in
children
but
also
warn them about the effects of these diseases.
Submitted by daniellin0717 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay addresses the task, it can enhance its response by integrating more specific examples and evidence to support the points made about education and taxation.
coherence cohesion
Structuring your arguments more logically by linking ideas can improve coherence. Additionally, include transitions between paragraphs for smoother readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, supporting logical progression.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies and discusses alternative solutions to tackle obesity, showcasing an understanding of the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: