In many countries around the world, obesity is increasing, especially among children. One solution is to increase the tax on food and drinks which contain large amounts of sugar. How effective is this solution? What other measures would be effective?

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In contemporary times, some health problems,
such
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as obesity gradually become serious.
Therefore
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, increasing the tax on high levels of sugary
foods
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and drinks may be a solution.
However
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, in
this
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essay, I contend that
this
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measure cannot address these issues thoroughly.
Instead
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, teaching
children
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how to cultivate correct eating habits might be an advisable method.
To begin
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with, increasing the fee of these high sugar levels items can indeed alleviate certain health issues.
This
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ensures that the interest in purchasing sneakers can significantly decrease in terms of the group of younger people because they do not have sufficient financial resources to buy their contentment.
Furthermore
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,
this
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measure is more likely to provide other healthier options.
For instance
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, with less attention on these unhealthy goods,
children
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are more willing to choose
such
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as more protein, more nutrients, and other healthier
foods
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and drinks, thereby avoiding obesity-related diseases.
However
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,
this
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may not be an effective approach because some
children
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still have not been taught the hazards of these unhealthy items until now.
Consequently
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, to receive adequate knowledge to improve obesity, educational institutions will be a vitally important factor. Schools can provide comprehensive systems to help
children
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adjust their diets.
For example
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, teachers can illustrate which categories of
foods
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or drinks are jeopardous to health,
such
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as junk
foods
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, cola, and other different high sugar or grease ingredients.
In addition
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, providing some disease figures may be another effective approach. Pictures of diabetes, heart diseases, and obesity can considerably remind students about the drawbacks of these problems, thereby avoiding similar situations. In conclusion, raising taxes on unhealthy goods can indeed provide some benefits.
Nevertheless
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, I firmly believe that education may be a more accessible choice. Not only can cultivate correct healthy concepts in
children
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but
also
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warn them about the effects of these diseases.
Submitted by daniellin0717 on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the task, it can enhance its response by integrating more specific examples and evidence to support the points made about education and taxation.
coherence cohesion
Structuring your arguments more logically by linking ideas can improve coherence. Additionally, include transitions between paragraphs for smoother readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, supporting logical progression.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies and discusses alternative solutions to tackle obesity, showcasing an understanding of the task.

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