the diagram shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

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The process diagram illustrates how

sugar

Use synonyms

is produced from

sugar

Use synonyms

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

Overall

Linking Words

, the production of

sugar

Use synonyms

consists of seven different steps starting with planting

sugar

Use synonyms

canes

Use synonyms

and ending with dehydrating and cooling the

sugar

Use synonyms

. The first step of making

sugar

Use synonyms

is to grow

sugar

Use synonyms

cane trees on the ground which

take

Correct subject-verb agreement

takes

show examples

time approximately one year to one year and a half to fully

grown

Wrong verb form

grow

show examples

. Once they are ready to be harvested, there are two options

Change preposition

for

show examples

cutting down the

sugar

Use synonyms

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

. One is to use the machines and the other is to use the human resources. After that, putting the

sugar

Use synonyms

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

into the squeezing machine to separate the solid parts and the liquid part from each other.

Then

Linking Words

taking only the juice part to purify by

pour

Change the verb form

pouring

show examples

it through the limestone filter. Next step, the juice will be boiled until it evaporates and becomes

sugar

Use synonyms

cane syrup.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

the syrup needs to be centrifuged so that the crystal is set apart. The

last

Linking Words

step is to let the crystal dry and low at heat so

finally

Linking Words

it is called ‘

sugar

Use synonyms

’

rakboonraksa.sMon Aug 14 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

181 words

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the diagram shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Topic: Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, learning have gained in popularity but some people argue that courses can never be as good as those taken by attending a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Employees sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People should never eat meat because raising animals for human consumption is cruel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, owning a home rather renting one is more important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this a positive or a negative development?