IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet, To what extent do you aree or disagree?

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It is claimed that every individual ought to choose a vegetarian diet as
this
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 can assist them to have a healthy lifestyle. In my opinion, I believe that
such
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 a lifestyle is not a must for everyone ,especially
people
Use synonyms
 whose culture associates
meat
Use synonyms
 in their traditional meals;
however
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, if
people
Use synonyms
 enjoy
such
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 a diet, they can continue with it. On the one hand, it is not significant for everyone to be vegetarian because ,in some cultures,
meat
Use synonyms
 is considered a part of their traditional meals.
In other words
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, dishes that use
meat
Use synonyms
 as the main ingredient can be found in many parts of the world, and most of these dishes are prepared on important occasions namely wedding ceremonies and religious festivals.
For example
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, in Muslim culture,
animals
Use synonyms
,
such
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 as sheep and cows are sacrificed as a way of worshipping the god during a religious festival which is called Eid Al Adha, and the
meat
Use synonyms
 of the
animals
Use synonyms
 is shared among everyone including family members and the neighbourhood.
Hence
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, in
this
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 case, it is impossible for Muslims to be vegetarian because it is not applicable to the religion.
On the other hand
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, when
people
Use synonyms
 live in developing countries, the demand for food is undoubtedly high. Because of
this
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, many farmers use modern farming methods which can be considered harmful to humans. Simply put,
animals
Use synonyms
 are fed synthetic food to promote their growth so that they can reach maturity fast. Some of these
animals
Use synonyms
 are injected with growth hormones which can cause a significant impact on consumers. A number of research has stated that
meat
Use synonyms
 consumption can lead to cancer, and it is believed that modern farming method is one of the contributing factors.
Therefore
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, in
this
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 case, by being vegetarian,
people
Use synonyms
 can clearly avoid serious health issues.
To sum up
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, I believe that being vegetarian is not a must, but it is a choice. If
people
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 think that
such
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 a lifestyle can benefit them, they can continue with it.

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task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the topic and provides an outline of the points to be discussed in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and utilize linking words to connect ideas and create a coherent structure.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and effectively. Use a variety of synonyms and idiomatic expressions.
grammatical range
Work on using a wider range of complex structures and sentence types to demonstrate a more sophisticated control of grammar and punctuation.
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