IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of male and female workers in country A and country B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of male and female workers in country A and country B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #workers #country #b #information #features #comparisons
Overall
, the pie chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of male and female
workers
 who are working in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three different sector in a
country
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
and
country
B
. In
country
a
Capitalize word
A
show examples
, more than half percentage of male
workers
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
56% worked for service. Similar
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
 have
seen
Add a missing verb
been seen
show examples
 for
country
B
workers
 at
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 rate of 65% in the segment.
However
, work in
country
B
 seems to have focused on
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
 at 32%
then
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
 sector prizing low at only 3%.
Whereas
 male
workers
 from
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contributed 29%
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 agriculture and 15%
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 industry.
On the other hand
, in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 a
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fairly managed ratio between employment on survey and agriculture at 49%, and 43% remain
remain
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
8% with less popularity for industrial
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
.
Although
 the majority of part at 88% of service work
preferred
Add a missing verb
is preferred
show examples
 by females from
country
b
, follow followed by 11% in industry where is 1% of working contribution in females for farming, heaven
country
b
 respectively.
Submitted by user349953 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers, country, b with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • gender employment rate
  • workforce
  • disparity
  • employment trend
  • notable difference
  • counterpart
  • demographic
  • labor market
  • sector
  • predominantly
  • employment rate
  • analysis
  • comparative study
  • statistical data
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