IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The supplied map gives data on the developments that were at the seaside resort of Templeton from 1990 to 2005

The supplied map gives data on the developments that were at the seaside resort of Templeton from 1990 to 2005
The map illustrates the developments at the seaside resort of Templeton over a fifteen-year period, between 1990 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that they constructed new facilities for daily life, public transportation, and logistics.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the houses in the north part of the resort were replaced with multi-floored accommodations. There is
also
Linking Words
 a new smaller multi-floored building beside the lake. Below these amenities, there was a brand new supermarket and another apartment neighbourhood demolishing several houses. On the other side, across the river, they cut the trees and add new houses. The house and tree below a school were removed and became clear land. The parking space and railway station remain unchanged.
In addition
Linking Words
, a factory was developed to remove the parking spaces near the train station.
Finally
Linking Words
, on the beach, there is a dock for using a ferry
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and a path which separates the sea and the land.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: