Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Other, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety.** Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Road
principles were applied to improve the security of people. The wisdom to reach that goal could be optional. This
essay will discuss the advantages and drawbacks of neither tightening rules on traffic laws nor street upgrades to increase safety to decrease disaster.
On the one hand, tightening rules on transport laws could be easier to apply to make people conscious of driving in a safe way as long as most risks are based on driver mistakes. The government would be studied with detail when arranging regulations to focus on the safety of operator
. Fix the agreement mistake
operators
For example
, if a jockey has a maximum speed of driving that is
too slow, it could make drivers bored and sleepy. However
, everyone knows the rules for drivers who feel sleepy should stop driving.
Besides
, every country has applied many regulations on the road
and it has been followed by citizens. Additionally
, it is better to supervise the arrangement rather than tighten or add some new adjustments.
On the other hand
, the reason for highway hazards comes from the street itself and the failure of vehicles because every part of the vehicle could be broken. Such
as, when the driver was driving at the maximum speed by the regulation, they were driving on the right side, but the tire broke on that journey and caused an accident. So, repairing road
safety like street fixing and making proper rest areas, could decrease hazards.
Finally
, the principles on the highway have been enough and followed by citizens. Therefore
, it is clear that
the idea of tightening avenue management cannot be supported. After a thorough analysis of this
subject, increasing the security of streets such
as the installation of road
bottoms resistant to denying sleepy-ness drivers or accompanying proper rest areas should be greater to decrease traffic hazards.Submitted by assakrhn on
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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure the introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and states the direction your essay will take. Your introduction was brief and did not sufficiently outline the views being discussed or your own position.
Logical Structure
Maintain logical structure throughout your essay, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples. Your essay somewhat lacked this clear structure and progression from one idea to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs, and create a smooth flow. Your essay showed some attempt to do this, but more varied and accurate usage is needed for higher bands.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, providing a thorough discussion of both views and a clear, well-supported opinion. You have touched on the required points, but your response is incomplete and requires further development of ideas and examples.
Supporting Main Points
Use specific examples to support your points where appropriate. Your essay provided general statements but lacked concrete examples to illustrate your arguments, which is essential for higher band scores.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Ensure clarity in your ideas, making sure each paragraph conveys a comprehensive idea or argument related to the question. Some of your ideas were difficult to follow, and the clarity of your essay could be improved.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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