Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and giver your own opinion.

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations #giver

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While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

did

Verb problem

have

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not

change

Wrong verb form

changed

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their

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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in their entire

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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, certain

people

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suggest that working for different organisations is more beneficial. Personally, I prefer the second statement because different job experiences acquire a more comprehensive perspective. Working in the same company for all their working

life

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

some beneficial points. The most significant one is that employees are able to expertise in their jobs.

For example

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, most Taiwanese have spent their whole

life

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sacrificing for a single company, it turns out most employees are really good at their

work

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and even find it easy to complete. Undoubtedly, if

people

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spend a lot of time on the same type of labour, they will become flexible and expert in their jobs.

This

Linking Words

situation prompts the employees’ effectiveness in that they are able to accomplish their goals in a short time and have a stable position. The caveat is that the second half part of their working

life

Use synonyms

is usually tedious and without emotion.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, switching to different

companies

Use synonyms

is more beneficial because it can broaden an individual’s perspective. Even though working in the same organization acquires a stable position, different

companies

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emphasize different aspects. Take the interior design industry as an example,

people

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like to

work

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in different

companies

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because they value diverse styles,

such

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as modern, traditional, and ecological design, and we are able to study a variety of areas as we

work

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in other organizations.

This

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is invaluable because it broadens individuals' perspectives and trains them to see things from different angles. Employees can enhance their technique and learn more comprehensively by changing

companies

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. In conclusion, despite a steady position and wage, experience in distinct organizations seems more valuable in working

life

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. A personal

work

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life

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should be enriched, not stuck in a single place.

Submitted by anson900506 on Tue Aug 15 2023

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task achievement

Your essay does a good job at addressing both viewpoints and providing a clear opinion. However, some sections could benefit from further elaboration to fully explore your points.

coherence cohesion

While the logical structure of your essay is solid, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.

coherence cohesion

You have included a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay effectively.

task achievement

The examples you provided are relevant and strengthen your arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and giver your own opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantaged of tourism in the modern world?

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. what damage does plastic do to environment? what can be done by governments and inviduals to solve this problem?

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?