Some feel that government should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#feel #government #prioritize #healthcare #areas

Health preservation plays a vital role in human life and the

government

should take it into consideration. It is argued by some

people's

Change preposition

people that

show examples

health protection is more important than other aspects.

While

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I firmly believe that there are several sectors

such

as environmental conservation and education which

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

a mutual effect on each other as the

government

keep the same balance among them. On the one hand, having a great service in healthcare is essential for all societies because it gives a chance to access sufficient treatment and decreases the rate of mortality.

Moreover

, being well both mentally and physically

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to a healthy society which has education, employment and economic growth.

Therefore

government

should invest in

this

sector and

spends

Correct subject-verb agreement

spend

show examples

to develop healthcare services.

For example

, in developed countries like the US or Europe professional treatment

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

available for their nation and they can be under the supervision of doctors regularly.

Consequently

, they are less likely to suffer from illnesses and other diseases compared with undeveloped countries.

On the other hand

, despite the importance of attention to health authorities bear responsibility for other sectors like environmental protection

as well as

education.

For instance

, if any damage is caused to the environment it can threaten animals or even humans' life. As

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should take strict action and

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

people's awareness to solve environmental problems it can

be effected

Wrong verb form

affect

show examples

people's

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

directly.

To sum up

although

healthcare service is more important to stay healthy governments should not overlook other sectors too because all of them are connected with each other.

Submitted by dilnur9919 on Tue Aug 15 2023

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task response

Provide clear and specific examples to support your points

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your ideas are logically connected and presented in a coherent manner

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some feel that government should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?