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Band 4.5

many people hold the wiew that it is better to buy their hơm rather than rent it. do you agree with this statement or not?

#people #wiew #hơm #rent
It is often said that their own
properties
Fix the agreement mistake
property
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such
 as
home
Add an article
a home
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 is more convenient than
hire
Wrong verb form
hiring
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 one. It is
opinion
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the opinion
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 of
this
 writer that rent houses never be great as
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
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home
Add an article
a home
the home
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 and will give more detail
for
Change preposition
about
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 the choice in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 paragraph.
Firstly
, when
people
makes
Change the verb form
make
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 a plan to get habitation
while
 do not have enough
money
 they can use a mortgage.
Although
 the owner can get
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 debt, they might have
motivation
Change the article
the motivation
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 to earn
money
 and become rich.
Besides
,
people
 do not need to
worried
Change the verb
worry
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 about
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
rise
Change the verb form
rising
show examples
Change preposition
in fee
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fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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 of
hire
Replace the word
hiring
show examples
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 or
remake
Wrong verb form
remaking
show examples
 the lease again and again.
For instance
,
worker
Add an article
a worker
the worker
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 who
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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 to work in Ho Chi Minh
city
Capitalize word
City
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 but
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not have any homestead
and
Correct word choice
apply
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decide
Correct subject-verb agreement
decides
show examples
 to lease
place
Correct article usage
a place
show examples
 of residence but
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each year, fees always rise and tenants
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 hard work after many years without any
money
Secondly
, everything will be better if we stay in our own lodging place, thereby reducing theft
as well as
 being safer.
In addition
, the bad guys will have less opportunity to approach and perform bad
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. Owning a home will make
people
 more proud of themselves and can integrate into the local community from there as a foundation for personal development. In short, buying a house brings many benefits to
people
 and can help them focus on making
money
 to live and from there can become more relaxed. so encourage
people
 to buy a house as soon as possible to relieve anxiety about
money
 problems in today's society.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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