Successful sport players can earn a great deal more money than people in other professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#sport #players #money #people #professions

In modern times, it could happen that

players

who have achieved fame earn significantly more money than individuals specializing in other fields. Some people complain about

this

scenario because they deem it unfair,

while

others believe that it is well-deserved.

This

essay will delve into both viewpoints. Personally, I support the latter opinion because I do not consider

this

situation to be unjust. To commence, it is undeniable that successful

sports

players

receive recognition for their contributions from many, much like experts in other fields who

also

exert tremendous efforts.

For instance

, becoming a teacher is no simple task. Aspiring educators must not only undergo extensive studies but

also

possess the skills to effectively educate students. Given the challenges of

this

profession, they too merit substantial income.

However

, being a famous

sports

player is fundamentally distinct from being a teacher or working in any other ordinary occupation.

This

due to

the fact that

sports

players

must showcase not only their hard work but

also

their inherent talent or gift.

Furthermore

, even within a pool of 100

sports

players

, only a handful may succeed as prominent figures. Considering

this

, it is logical that they should receive higher salaries compared to those in conventional jobs.

Moreover

, unlike typical occupations,

sports

players

provide entertainment to a wide audience.

Thus

, it is justifiable that they earn more money, as many individuals are willing to pay to watch these athletes perform. In conclusion,

while

professions in various fields pose their own challenges, attaining success as a

sports

player is notably arduous, and their substantial earnings are well-justified

due to

the heightened demand for their unique talents.

Submitted by songcheng619 on Tue Aug 15 2023

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task response

Ensure that all parts of the question are fully addressed and that ideas are relevant, supported, and extended.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a clear and effective progression of ideas, with logical and cohesive paragraphing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Successful sport players can earn a great deal more money than people in other professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

Many people work long long hours, leaving very little for leisure activities.

many people today buy ready-made food rather than spending time cooking. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Many students take part-time jobs while studying in universities. Do you think it is a good idea or a bad idea?