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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the process of getting a driving licence. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below. Write at least 150 words.

The diagram below shows the process of getting a driving licence. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below. Write at least 150 words.
#process #licence #report #university #lecturer #information
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The diagram illustrates the procedure of getting
driving
Add an article
a driving
show examples
licence
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are some tests: eye
Use synonyms
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
, written
Use synonyms
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
 and driving
Use synonyms
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
, so applicants cannot acquire the
licence
Use synonyms
 easily.
First,
Linking Words
people who want to take
driver’s
Correct article usage
a driver’s
show examples
licence
Use synonyms
 have to visit a
licence
Use synonyms
 centre and complete an application form.
Then
Linking Words
, they must take an eye
test
Use synonyms
; if they could pass the
test
Use synonyms
, they can proceed to the next step,
while
Linking Words
 examinees who could not pass the
test
Use synonyms
 are not applicable. Individuals who pass the eye
test
Use synonyms
 must pay
fee
Add an article
a fee
the fee
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
, they are given
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to take a written
test
Use synonyms
. Applicants who could pass the written
test
Use synonyms
 can go to the
last
Linking Words
 stage;
driving
Correct article usage
the driving
show examples
test
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, people who fell the written
test
Use synonyms
 have to retake the
test
Use synonyms
 until they can pass it. If they fell the written
test
Use synonyms
 more than two times, they must pay
fee
Add an article
the fee
show examples
 again. After they pass the written
test
Use synonyms
, they have to take
driving
Add an article
a driving
the driving
show examples
test
Use synonyms
, and people who could pass
driving
Add an article
the driving
show examples
test
Use synonyms
 can get
driver’s
Correct article usage
a driver’s
show examples
licence
Use synonyms
 directly,
while
Linking Words
 applicants who fell the
test
Use synonyms
 have to pay
fee
Correct article usage
a fee
show examples
 one more time.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words licence, test with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 3 times.
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