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it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of takşng r

#people #risks #lives #takşng #r
Recently,
people
 taking
risks
 which are either lives of their professional or lives of their personal
life
 have become a popular topic and many
people
 think it is worth discussing.
However
, they still have not come to an agreement with each other on whether these
risks
 have positive outcomes or negative outcomes for
people
. Whatever each side of
argument
Correct article usage
the argument
show examples
 thinks, I strongly agree that there are numerous advantages for
people
’s
life
.
To begin
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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risk
 is
key
Add an article
a key
the key
show examples
 identity for success because we read
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the eminent
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
 story, we can learn that whole of them reach good status because of
risk
 and they have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more decisive than others.
Also
, the evidence that
compere
Correct your spelling
compare
show examples
 to not taking
risk
,
people
 who take
risks
 are happier than others. Another advantage is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
risk
 provides
people
to
Change preposition
with
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unique
Add an article
a unique
show examples
 person and way to find special
route
Fix the agreement mistake
routes
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 for them and maybe these
risks
 will lead us to greater success. İn
general
Add a comma
,general
show examples
risks
 will go us to greater success.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 there are many disadvantages for them. First of all,
People
 increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
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scarred
due to
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
 make them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
find out some illnesses
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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especially psychological
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 anxiety. they think too much, always thinking so
this
 can lead to shorten
life
 span.
Secondly
, thanks to some
risk
, they lost
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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everything. The in order that, the more they win against
risk
, the more they want.
For example
, they play gamble.
To sum up
, in spite of the fact that taking
risks
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many negative impacts, the positive impacts outweigh
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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 impacts. We don’t forget that
life
 is taking
risks
 but we provide balance themselves.
Submitted by ece.ozge on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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