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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like. while others say that they should think more realistically about their future. discuss both views and give your own opinion. give the reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your experiences.

#think #people #career #future #answers #experiences
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Many thoughts say that young people should be more realistic about their
career
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 and others say they should follow it. I would say, it depends on the circumstances. I can not tell what is the best between those options.
For
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this
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 reason, I would like to describe more from my own perspective. Based on my experiences, the main occasion about young generations should be realistic is because of the facts that occur.
For instance
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, I discovered plenty of my young co-workers are not doing their
dream
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 careers because reality forces them to seize the chance provided in front of them. They should take it because the primary need has to be fulfilled
otherwise
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 they are obviously not able to live. If they wait for the
dream
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 to come true and pass the great opportunity, it will be wasted. Eventually, they are doing what they have to and not what they want to.
On the other hand
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, many young people choose to pursue their
dream
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career
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 because they have funds support from their parents. As a sample, young generations with a wealth background have extra time to focus on their extracurricular activities
besides
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 academic lessons
such
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 as piano lessons, basketball lessons and so on.
Hence
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, many of them have the option either to pursue their
dream
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 which means any
career
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 they select related to their extracurricular activities or any job opportunity
that is
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 available without hesitation because they do not have to worry about primary need if it is not working well. In conclusion, plenty of young generations choose to be realistic essentially because they are driven by life needed than select a
career
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 they are passionate about.
However
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, others can choose based on their desire because they have come from a wealthy family. Shed the eight, pondering how the brain stops working. Beholding seven is way more enticing.
However
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, an encounter and seizing the day with you is
also
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 fascinating WKWK.
Submitted by mutiaraanggun1995 on

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introduction conclusion present
Provide clearer introductions and conclusions. Your essay can benefit from a more clearly defined structure. Make sure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position on it, while the conclusion should summarize your arguments effectively.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph presents a single, clear idea. The argument can be made stronger and more cohesive by improving the flow and transitions between the ideas in different paragraphs.
logical structure
Avoid introducing irrelevant sentences or concepts that distract from the main point, such as "Shed the eight, pondering how the brain stops working." These can confuse the reader.
task achievement
Your essay does a good job of presenting both sides of the argument: the need for realism and the pursuit of dreams.
supported main points
The examples provided are relevant and specific, helping to illustrate your points about the circumstances that influence young people's career decisions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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