IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In modern society, some people argue that schools become unnecessary as children can study at home via the Internet. Do you agree or disagree?

#society #people #schools #children #study #home #internet
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Nowadays, many people think that
students
Add a verb
arestudents
werestudents
show examples
 unnecessary to go to the classroom,
instead
Linking Words
 of they can
study
Use synonyms
 on platforms like
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 zoom,
azota
Correct your spelling
azote
,… In my opinion, I disagree with that and I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 school
always
Add a missing verb
is always
show examples
 better than
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 on platforms.
Firstly
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, studying at home via the internet
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
sudent
Correct your spelling
student
students
 cannot focus on the
lesson
Use synonyms
 because they
study
Use synonyms
 on pc or smartphone
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
distration
Correct your spelling
distraction
. Student can surf the internet
chat
Correct word choice
and chat
show examples
 with their friends
while
Linking Words
lecturer
Correct article usage
the lecturer
show examples
Use synonyms
study
Change the verb form
studies
show examples
 the
lesson
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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, after
teachers
Correct article usage
the teachers
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 end up the
lesson
Use synonyms
,
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 have many
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
question to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
ask teachers.
It
Add a verb
isIt
wasIt
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 very easy to do
this
Linking Words
 in the real classroom but in the platform, it
so
Add a missing verb
is so
show examples
 different. We would not understand the
lesson
Use synonyms
 if we studied that no discussion.
Thirdly
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, we go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school not only
Use synonyms
study
Fix the infinitive
to study
show examples
 hard but
also
Linking Words
play
Fix the infinitive
to play
show examples
 with friends and develop
myself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
. In the home, we cannot make
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 so we feel alone
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 some disease about social.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I think that studying via the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
as
Add a missing verb
is as
show examples
 not good as
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 school
Submitted by tram.vomy on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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