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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. (million). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. (million). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table illustrates the statistical information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 international travel places from 1990 to 2005, and the counts categories
includes
Change the verb form
include
show examples
 Africa,
America
Use synonyms
,
Asia
Use synonyms
 and the
pacific
Capitalize word
Pacific
show examples
, Europe and
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 East.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased steadily, from 448.9
million
Use synonyms
 in 1990 to 693.7
million
Use synonyms
 in 2005. At the same time, Europe is the
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 popular place for travelling which is the largest
categories
Fix the agreement mistake
category
show examples
 of the
number
Use synonyms
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 in 20 years period,
also
Linking Words
 from 280.2
million
Use synonyms
 in 1990 increased to 400.2
million
Use synonyms
 in 2005. In
constrast
Correct your spelling
contrast
,
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 East is the lowest popular place rather than others, only has 9.8
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
tourists
Use synonyms
 in 1990 and slightly increased to 15.8
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2005. It is
also
Linking Words
apparents
Correct your spelling
apparent
 that, in 1990
America
Use synonyms
 is popular than
Asia
Use synonyms
 and the
pacific
Capitalize word
Pacific
show examples
 area. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 in
America
Use synonyms
 is 80.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and 60.2
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in
Asia
Use synonyms
 and the
pacific
Capitalize word
Pacific
show examples
 area.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists
Use synonyms
 increased
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
 in
Asia
Use synonyms
, from 60.2
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 to 135.8
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2005.
Next,
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
America
Use synonyms
's
tourists
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
increasde
Correct your spelling
increased
increase
signicficly
Correct your spelling
signific
 to 113.2
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2005.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Africa'
Change noun form
Africa's
show examples
tourists
Use synonyms
 increased steadily from 18.2
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 1990 to 28.7
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2005.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words america, asia, number, tourists, million, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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