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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the table below shows the usual method of travel to work for people in four australian cities in 2016

the table below shows the usual method of travel to work for people in four australian cities in 2016
The table chart illustrates the common means of commuting for people in four different cities in Australia in 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, driving outweighed the other means of transportation, pointing at over 65%.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, walking or
bicycle
Wrong verb form
bicycling
show examples
 showed quite small rates in all the cities. Looking closely at driving, Sydney has a relatively low rate, 65.5%, compared to the number of the other three cities, which all stand at over 70%. As for public transport, Adelaide and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Hobart show low rates, 8% and 5.5%, respectively,
whereas
Linking Words
 Sydney and Melbourne showed 21% and 13.5%, which were the numbers double by Adelaide and Hobart.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in terms of walking or
bicycle
Wrong verb form
bicycling
show examples
, every city had a tremendously low rate, which was all less than 10%. It can be seen that fewer people worked at home, which represented
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
roughly 10% in each city.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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