Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To whtat extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sites #impact #individuals #society #whtat

Certain groups of

people

assert that social networking sites

bring

Verb problem

have

show examples

a grave effect on both

individuals

and society. From my point of view, It is an undeniable statement which can be seen in increasing

obesity

rates

and

individuals

becoming rude

while

using social

media

. First of all, social networking sites impact human

obesity

rates

As well as

social

media

like Instagram and Facebook become popular,

people

spend too much

time

scrolling posts. The

time

when

Rephrase

apply

show examples

people

spend on social

media

was substituted for the

time

people

previously went to exercise.

For example

, before social

media

exists, a high range of pupils will find their interest in one kind of sport, and spend their leisure

time

on it to improve their strength and technique. But now, nearly eighty per cent of youngsters have a smartphone to engage in social

media

, and most of them dive into it from day to night.

This

impacts

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

individuals

neglecting

Wrong verb form

who neglect

show examples

the necessary

Change preposition

show examples

exercise and

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

their

obesity

rates

proportionally.

On the other hand

, social

media

also

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

a negative effect on society, it creates a platform where users generally use it to leave malicious comments to attack others or even celebrities.

This

scenario can be seen on Instagram, which allows users to create a second account or even a third one.

Thus

individuals

anonymously leave hurtful comments to celebrities or others without overthinking, which unconsciously or intentionally hurts their feelings.

This

impacts

people

becoming rude

while

using social

media

, they generally think that the words they leave on

this

platform have no responsibilities or consequences, so

therefore

, social

media

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

depression illness in society. In conclusion, I believe that social networking sites

accompany

Verb problem

have

show examples

negative effects on

individuals

increasing

obesity

rates

and

individuals

generally

become

Wrong verb form

becoming

show examples

rude

while

using them.

People

have to

beware

Correct your spelling

be aware

show examples

of these impacts, in order to build a healthier life.

Submitted by anson900506 on Wed Aug 16 2023

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task response

Ensure that all aspects of the task are addressed, and provide a clear and comprehensive response to the question.

coherence cohesion

Improve the overall progression and logical structure of ideas. Use cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions to enhance your writing.

grammatical range

Work on improving the accuracy and complexity of your sentence structures. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence variety.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To whtat extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

More and more people are migrating to cities to in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for every one?

Now a days some parents give money to their children if they perform well at school. Do you think this is good or bad friend ?

Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What could be the reason for this trend, and what can be done to reverse it?

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?