Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To whtat extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sites #impact #individuals #society #whtat

Certain groups of

people

assert that social networking sites

bring

Verb problem

have

show examples

a grave effect on both

individuals

and society. From my point of view, It is an undeniable statement which can be seen in increasing

obesity

rates

and

individuals

becoming rude

while

using social

media

. First of all, social networking sites impact human

obesity

rates

As well as

social

media

like Instagram and Facebook become popular,

people

spend too much

time

scrolling posts. The

time

when

Rephrase

apply

show examples

people

spend on social

media

was substituted for the

time

people

previously went to exercise.

For example

, before social

media

exists, a high range of pupils will find their interest in one kind of sport, and spend their leisure

time

on it to improve their strength and technique. But now, nearly eighty per cent of youngsters have a smartphone to engage in social

media

, and most of them dive into it from day to night.

This

impacts

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

individuals

neglecting

Wrong verb form

who neglect

show examples

the necessary

Change preposition

show examples

exercise and

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

their

obesity

rates

proportionally.

On the other hand

, social

media

also

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

a negative effect on society, it creates a platform where users generally use it to leave malicious comments to attack others or even celebrities.

This

scenario can be seen on Instagram, which allows users to create a second account or even a third one.

Thus

individuals

anonymously leave hurtful comments to celebrities or others without overthinking, which unconsciously or intentionally hurts their feelings.

This

impacts

people

becoming rude

while

using social

media

, they generally think that the words they leave on

this

platform have no responsibilities or consequences, so

therefore

, social

media

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

depression illness in society. In conclusion, I believe that social networking sites

accompany

Verb problem

have

show examples

negative effects on

individuals

increasing

obesity

rates

and

individuals

generally

become

Wrong verb form

becoming

show examples

rude

while

using them.

People

have to

beware

Correct your spelling

be aware

show examples

of these impacts, in order to build a healthier life.

Submitted by anson900506 on Wed Aug 16 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Ensure that all aspects of the task are addressed, and provide a clear and comprehensive response to the question.

coherence cohesion

Improve the overall progression and logical structure of ideas. Use cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions to enhance your writing.

grammatical range

Work on improving the accuracy and complexity of your sentence structures. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence variety.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut subjects such as arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subject such as information and technology. To what extend do you agree?
In todays globalized world, learning of Information Technology has become everyday need. However, it is also worth of consideration to remove some lesson such as arts and music. In my perspective, removing some subjects and focusing on certain lesson are not a good way . The author would discuss the lack of arts and music learning for our future generation such as loss of identity and reducing patriotic feelings.
6.5
band
In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Gun violence has steadily risen in many nations around the globe because individuals have permits to obtain them. I strongly agree with this statement and will discuss two significant violent scenarios that emerge through it.
4.5
band
Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
There are many museums have charge for the ticket. Nowadays, the museums are popular as the tourist spots and with the cluster of visitors, many museums have the policy of charging for the entrance. Whereas some museums still free. I personally believe that the admission fees is cause more benefits that the advantages, described in the following paragraphs.
8
band
You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter •say why he/she would not enjoy going to college •explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her •suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her
I hope you are doing well. I am writing to share my ideas about whether you go to college or get a job.
6.5
band
Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people say that governments should spend money looking for life on other planets. However, I strongly believe this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on Earth that need to be prioritized.

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To whtat extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut subjects such as arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subject such as information and technology. To what extend do you agree?

In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.