IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below provide some informaion about employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992.

The pie charts below provide some informaion about employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992.
#informaion #employment #patterns #britain
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The pie charts below provide some
informaion
Correct your spelling
information
 about employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are two charts by sex and occupation.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 the amount of male clerical or related employees
are
Change the verb form
is
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 31
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 male shows six
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
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 managerial and professional category is 36
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 male and nearly 30% female (29%).
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the craft or similar pattern appears to be slightly different. It has the greatest number of male employees (24%)
whereas
Linking Words
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 only 3
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of females. Nearly as many men as women, 27 and 26
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of other manual workers
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can see in
this
Linking Words
 chart. The figures were almost the same for general labourers (2 and 1
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
). Fewer
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 than
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 are in
other non-manual figure
Change the wording
another non-manual figure
other non-manual figures
show examples
. It is 9 % females and six
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 males.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 almost the
smae
Correct your spelling
same
 patterns have males and females in
managerial
Add an article
the managerial
show examples
 sphere.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provide" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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