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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before, some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the modern world,
elderlies
Use synonyms
 rate is a well-discussed topic. some individuals think that
ageing
Correct article usage
the ageing
show examples
 population contributes
difficulties
Change preposition
to difficulties
show examples
 for governments
while
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 others believe
that is
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 more helpful if
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge number of people
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 elder.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain disadvantages outweigh
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
according to
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 some facts. It seems that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there are significant problems caused by
ageing
Add an article
an ageing
the ageing
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 population.
Firstly
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,
it
Change the pronoun
its
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 effects on human resources. If
Correct article usage
the numbers
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numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
Use synonyms
elderlies
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
 became extended, human resources would become limited in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. And
also
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, it is essential for some careers that being
youngster
Add an article
a youngster
show examples
 with
high
Add an article
a high
the high
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 level of energy for working long hours.
For example
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, firefighters should be young and
elderlies
Use synonyms
 cannot get
this
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 position for working.
Secondly
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 issues occur in these countries. Elder people should support by governments which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 influenced the economy. An example can be seen as budgets on insurance which are
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 greater and the government debts would increase. So imperative disadvantages are more than benefits in these countries.
However
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, there would be some benefits
such
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 as low crime rates in public.
According to
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researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
criminals
Add an article
the criminals
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 be young and
Use synonyms
elderlies
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
 usually follow rules and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 more peaceful.
Moreover
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
old people try their best to be more green
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 contributes
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 government
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 less money on protecting the environment.
To conclude
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, in my opinion, increasing
elderlies
Use synonyms
 rate has imperative issues for governments
although
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, there are some advantages which are less than problems generally. So it is fair to say that preserving
ageing
Correct article usage
the ageing
show examples
 population is one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 most significant duties
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the government.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
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