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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think companies should provide employess with exercise time during the day. What is your opinion about this?

#people #companies #employess #exercise #time
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Some individuals think that
companies
Use synonyms
 should provide
employees
Use synonyms
 with exercise time during the day. In my opinion, I completely agree
companies
Use synonyms
 should give their staff additional time. to do physical activities in the morning because it has a lot of
benefits
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.
Firstly
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, when
employees
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 exercise during the day, it will help them to be healthy.
This
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 will certainly be a profitable return for the company.
In other words
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, doing exercises
such
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 as jogging and running will help the
employees
Use synonyms
 stay active and burn calories.
This
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 will
also
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 help to increase their immune system, and
as a result
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, they will not get sick easily.
As a result
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, when the
employees
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 are in good health, they will continue working with the company for many years, and
this
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 will benefit the company in terms of work performance.
Secondly
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, comprise that provide
such
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benefits
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raises
Correct subject-verb agreement
raise
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 the loyalty of their
employees
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.
For instance
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, if receives
Same
Correct article usage
the Same
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 two job offers salary, one offers
this
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 Someone with the benefit and
th
Correct your spelling
the
 other
dose
Correct your spelling
does
show examples
 not,
then
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 he will choose the
benefits
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.
Hence
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,
comphies
Correct your spelling
companies
 that offer
benefits
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 will get better
employees
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.
Finaly
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Finally
,
compnies
Correct your spelling
companies
 should be social, hot just capitalistic. To illustrate,
companies
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 are based on the community and take profits from them.
Thus
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,
companies
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 must have a role in society and a good impact on people. In Conclusion, I once
againe
Correct your spelling
again
 reaffirm my position my opinion is
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 give employers
this
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 feature, if
companies
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 do to hot provide
benefits
Use synonyms
Change preposition
to emplyees
show examples
emplyees
Correct your spelling
employees
,
then
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 they are the biggest
losere
Correct your spelling
losers
loser
 in the long
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
run.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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