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Band 6.5

It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

#crime #violence #media #offer #situation
It is often considered that the increase in juvenile
crime
 is
due to
 violence in
media
. In my opinion,
although
teenagers
 may get some information which is not good from the
media
, it is necessary that they should learn how to distinguish the bad information rather than prohibit them to get any news. Many people regard
media
 as an evil during children growing up.
Teenagers
 would violate the rules,
for example
, by leaving offensive comments anonymously. Individuals tend to believe that
teenagers
 may be spoiled if they have the power of using
media
.
However
, human is a kind of animals which need to live in groups. Despite parents banning their children to
use
media
, they still have to learn how to
use
 it in one day. Or it may cause that
teenagers
, who have not used
media
 ever, can not participate in any group after they grow up.
Furthermore
, it is natural that children have curiosity. They always prefer to explore the world. Parents, even the government, should teach juvenile people how to
use
media
 in proper methods
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and advocate not to commit the
crime
. It is the more effective and efficient way to prevent juvenile
crime
, which is caused by violence in
media
. Schools can establish a class social
media
 group with their teachers. Teachers can teach them how to maintain their group
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and interact with others on correct methods.
To sum up
, it is vital that adults should teach
teenagers
 how to
use
media
 in good ways, rather than prohibit them. Or it may cause the worst result that juvenile people
use
media
 in the wrong methods. What's worst, they may violet
crime
.
Submitted by eulerlin on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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