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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Although parents are responsible for raising a child, making decisions plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#parents #child #decisions #role #development
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In recent years, the phenomenon of young individuals tending to make their own decisions without
parents
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 is happening constantly
while
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 abundant of
parents
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 are against it. I strongly disagree with the above statement, and I will
further
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 emphasize my position in the following essay. First of all, the most attractive choices for
kids
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 are celebrities, including singers, movie stars, and internet celebrities which can make them feel delighted and exhilarated because they can discuss with friends, be the popular people in their groups and connect to the world.
However
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, there are abundant scam advertisements and cheaters involved on the internet which they cannot recognize properly. If children have not been taught how to distinguish themselves from real or fake
then
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 they can easily be tricked and regretted it.
Hence
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, comprehending chaotic advertisements on the internet or being a fan of someone rationally would be the priority in
kids
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' education and development.
Moreover
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, adolescents tend to participate in parties without their
parents
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’ agreement which might lead them to be a part of the group but put themselves in danger because it accompanies by hidden risks in the parties which consist of drug abuse, sexual assault and committing other illegal crimes.
For example
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, my cousin insisted to join the orientation party after school without the supervision of teachers, unfortunately, she was raped by a stranger who just get into the party without permission and until now she has been conquering severe mental issues and did not finish her degree,
therefore
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, we have known how important the
parents
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’ decision can protect us. In conclusion, based on the information mentioned, we can say that
parents
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 have been doing their best for
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kids
Correct pronoun usage
their kids
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.
However
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, some children refuse to not comply which is quite alarming. From my perspective,
although
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 it is a sophisticated issue, I believe it would be an informed choice for all
kids
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 to realize how to discriminate a variety of dangers from making decisions with
parents
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 in order to obtain more life experiences which not only prevent them from unnecessary damage but
also
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 provide an authentic happy growing development in their foreseeable life.
Submitted by mornicayang on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary caregivers
  • significant impact
  • lay the groundwork
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • gradual transition
  • independence
  • external factors
  • pivotal role
  • balanced view
  • operate in isolation
  • cultural and familial norms
  • extended family
  • community
  • nuanced agreement
  • unintended consequences
  • positive and negative
  • complexity
  • diversity of family structures
  • multitude of factors
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