Although parents are responsible for raising a child, making decisions plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#parents #child #decisions #role #development

In recent years, the phenomenon of young individuals tending to make their own decisions without

parents

is happening constantly

while

abundant of

parents

are against it. I strongly disagree with the above statement, and I will

further

emphasize my position in the following essay. First of all, the most attractive choices for

kids

are celebrities, including singers, movie stars, and internet celebrities which can make them feel delighted and exhilarated because they can discuss with friends, be the popular people in their groups and connect to the world.

However

, there are abundant scam advertisements and cheaters involved on the internet which they cannot recognize properly. If children have not been taught how to distinguish themselves from real or fake

then

they can easily be tricked and regretted it.

Hence

, comprehending chaotic advertisements on the internet or being a fan of someone rationally would be the priority in

kids

' education and development.

Moreover

, adolescents tend to participate in parties without their

parents

’ agreement which might lead them to be a part of the group but put themselves in danger because it accompanies by hidden risks in the parties which consist of drug abuse, sexual assault and committing other illegal crimes.

For example

, my cousin insisted to join the orientation party after school without the supervision of teachers, unfortunately, she was raped by a stranger who just get into the party without permission and until now she has been conquering severe mental issues and did not finish her degree,

therefore

, we have known how important the

parents

’ decision can protect us. In conclusion, based on the information mentioned, we can say that

parents

have been doing their best for

kids

Correct pronoun usage

their kids

show examples

However

, some children refuse to not comply which is quite alarming. From my perspective,

although

it is a sophisticated issue, I believe it would be an informed choice for all

kids

to realize how to discriminate a variety of dangers from making decisions with

parents

in order to obtain more life experiences which not only prevent them from unnecessary damage but

also

provide an authentic happy growing development in their foreseeable life.

Submitted by mornicayang on Wed Aug 16 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

350 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

primary caregivers
significant impact
lay the groundwork
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
gradual transition
independence
external factors
pivotal role
balanced view
operate in isolation
cultural and familial norms
extended family
community
nuanced agreement
unintended consequences
positive and negative
complexity
diversity of family structures
multitude of factors

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some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world,subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.