IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (foe example, though cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages?

#technology #people #foe #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development #outweight
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Emerging technology has impacted human lives in
such
Linking Words
 a manner that people most of the time are not aware that whatever they are performing is being monitored through security cameras or even being recorded and tracked by cell phones. I will discuss both the positive and negative sides in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, scientists have come up with
such
Linking Words
 great automation for the world that they forgot the side effects of the same on the lives of humans. To elucidate, security cameras often record personal moments of individuals which sometimes when surfaced on the internet harm their reputation.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, any equipment which can record or track the day-to-day activities of a man can be used against him in both good and bad ways.
Consequently
Linking Words
, people nowadays feel that they cannot move freely because of the threat of being chased or monitored by someone. On the other side, technology has proved numerous times how beneficial it is for humans and how it can help the authorities of any country around the globe to stop crime from happening. To exemplify, any person who is wanted for committing crimes in various countries is not being caught by anyone but can be caught by looking at these devices which help track a person from anywhere in the world.
Moreover
Linking Words
, innovations in the field of science have not only come up with catching criminals but
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
have also
show examples
 been used by various agencies to stop crime around the globe.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that the pros of
this
Linking Words
 advancement outweigh the cons and people need to stop using these effective tools for inaccurate purposes.
Submitted by resume2012principal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: