Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualication. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a common belief that students in university spend most of their time learning other texts
moreover
the main subjects. Linking Words
By contrast
, others believe that using time and focus on studying to achieve a qualification is important. The writer of Linking Words
this
essay supports Linking Words
this
notion that learners can get a wide range of creation and information through the various topics Linking Words
due to
it brings a lot of convenient skills for their foreseeable future.
It must be understood that learning different topics improves a child’s creation and information. Linking Words
In other words
, in various fields, the pupils can get specific information Linking Words
as well as
soft abilities to make them grow holistically. Take some artistic subjects for a typical instance, drawing and painting can help students express their feelings and imagination. Linking Words
Then
, these skills can be used when thinking of ways to solve problems in other main themes, or to be open-minded in new areas of life. Linking Words
As a result
, artistic contents play an important part in the development of a child’s mind.
There is, Linking Words
however
, a group of scholars who would disagree with Linking Words
this
and consider paying attention to the main themes as the primary basis of getting an accomplishment. To put it simply, college scholars do not need to spend much time on different texts and focus on the main fields to acquire a degree. To Linking Words
city
an example, some college pupils can achieve a lot of opportunities based on their qualifications Correct your spelling
cite
such
as Mos, Ielts degree,... Linking Words
Moreover
, they can appeal to enough famous enterprises which can open the way to triumph in future.
From my perspective, students can easily enter some huge companies Linking Words
due to
their variety of soft abilities. To be more specific, university learners need to improve their lives by learning new things and competencies Linking Words
such
as leadership, and critical thinking,… Linking Words
instead
of spending too many hours studying. It may not only bonus enough knowledge but Linking Words
also
achieve widely soft capabilities which provides a lot of benefits for their future Linking Words
as well as
holistic development.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
the majority of learners in university study for a certificate, the fact that learning a variety of contents can improve their knowledge Linking Words
as well as
create and supply convenient capabilities for their lives.Linking Words
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task achievement
Overall, the essay addresses both views and presents the writer's own opinion clearly. However, there are a few areas that need improvement:
- Ensure that the introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay.
- Provide more balanced arguments for both sides with equal depth.
- Work on refining sentence structures and grammar.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are areas to improve:
- Make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
- Improve the coherence within paragraphs, ensuring that each sentence connects well with the one before and after.
- Some sentences are a bit awkwardly phrased and affect the overall flow of the essay. Focus on smoother sentence transitions.
task achievement
The essay covers both perspectives on the topic effectively.
task achievement
The writer attempts to provide specific examples to support their arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?