Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

Driven by the pursuit of exciting and thrilling experiences, extreme
sports
have gone viral across the globe, which,
however
, are advised by some people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
prohibit playing as posing a risk to us. From my perspective, I am not in favour of
this
opinion, believing that we do need to defend our rights to choose what we want to do only if it is legal. It is true that some adventures in
sports
should be prohibited because advocates harbouring
this
view argue that adventurous
activities
threaten the lives of players and innocent persons since many of them
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
injured or even
died
Wrong verb form
die
show examples
from attending those
activities
.
For example
, sky-divers may lose out of control when facing severe weather or unexpected conditions
as a result
of getting hurt or killed and some crazy climbers go to extremes for grabbing the public’s attention by climbing skyscrapers,
thus
putting others at risk.
Therefore
, those
activities
should be banned to save more lives.
Nevertheless
,
sports
such
as skydiving and skiing are not as dangerous as they imagine and casualties nowadays in extreme
activities
are merely caused by accidents, occurring as rare as plane crashes with well-rounded protections.
For instance
, players are well-trained before boarding the plane when they skydive in the air and weather predictions become more accurate now than in the past.
Furthermore
, the danger is not good enough to be a justified excuse, taking away our free choice. A great number of people gain pleasure from these games, in which they cannot only beat fear by experiencing challenges but
offer
Rephrase
also offer
show examples
a special means of leisure making people feel excited and thrilled. For another, those games should not be a forbidden zone if they do not endanger the lives of others. After all, danger is a part of
sports
, which is
also
inevitable in many popular matches,
such
as American football,
boxing
Correct word choice
and boxing
show examples
, to name but a few. In conclusion, under no circumstance should we restrict sportsmen from playing adventurous games if they are not harmful to others.
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task response
Your essay adequately addresses the prompt and presents a clear argument. However, make sure to provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good overall organization and logical structure. Ensure that your main points are fully developed and supported with relevant examples.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is appropriate and varied. Just be mindful of using more precise and specific language to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but be cautious of sentence structure and make sure to proofread for any errors or inconsistencies.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adrenaline rush
  • risk threshold
  • thrill-seeking
  • safety protocols
  • hazard assessment
  • adventure tourism
  • regulatory framework
  • personal autonomy
  • informed consent
  • risk mitigation strategies
  • thrill-seeking behavior
  • protective gear
  • extreme athleticism
  • freedom of choice
  • accident prevalence
  • emergency response
  • courage and resilience
  • endorphin release
  • legal implications
  • peer pressure effects
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