Many people think it is very important to protect the environment but they make no effort to do it themselves. Why do you think this is the case? What actions should individuals take to protect the environment?

Globalization and industrialization lead the earth's atmosphere to some dangerous level, where everyone has to prepare as an environmental protector. Many people from different communities
concern
Wrong verb form
are concerned
show examples
about the protection of our ecological system by giving only statements, rather than by doing actual chores.
This
essay will explain current situations of individuals' thoughts about saving natural surroundings, trailing by some relevant examples. A lot of members of society would be ready to speak on the importance of nature conservation,
however
, when the practical situation comes regarding contribution they would take a step back. To be more precise, every individual feels that the community surroundings' protection is the government's responsibility. The litter spread on roads,
for instance
, will not be cleared by any citizen,
moreover
, they feel the whole responsibility lies with the government. These behaviours have caused greater damage to the environment in the form of water, land &
air
Correct word choice
and air
show examples
pollution respectively. Everyone's contribution to saving nature is the need of the hour absolutely.
On the other hand
, there are several actions that can be initiated by every responsible person. The primary one is, banning plastic usage across nations to save rain and land contamination.
Due to
the non-degradable nature of plastic,
for example
, all liquid bodies are polluted to cause the extinction of aquatic animals. Adding to
this
, encouraging green energy production and utilization helps to reduce fossil-fuel consumption substantially. If the rooftop of every house is installed with solar energy panels which are available at a subsidised rate,
for example
, will eventually reduce gas and coal consumption
that is
used to generate electricity.
To conclude
,
while
the majority of society members feel that preservation is the most important aspect at any point in time, no one makes any effort to participate. I think the important reason for
this
cause is the accountability of citizens.
Submitted by cpv.fetr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Your essay has a clear position but lacks deeper exploration of the reasons why people don't take action to protect the environment. It would be beneficial to provide more detailed explanations to fully address the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure is generally effective, but there are areas where the flow of ideas could be improved, such as the transition between different points. The introduction and conclusion could be more developed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: