IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You are going on a short course to a training college abroad. It is a college that you have not been to before write a letter to the accommodation officer. in your letter - give details of your course and arrival/ departure date - ⁠ explain your accommodation needs - ⁠ask for information about getting to from the college

#course #college #accommodation #officer #departure #date #⁠ask #information
Dear Sara, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you about my
course
 in your college. As you know, I have never been travelling abroad. I would be grateful if you would to assistance to me, the
course
 has been starting on the 7th of March to 9th the of next month,
also
 I will come on the 6th. My
course
 will be talking about (HR) Human Resources is pretty beneficial for employees,
however
, the manager’s
course
 will teach us how we can be convenient in the work society. As you know, I do not have any information about your city
such
 as accommodation and transportation, If you do not mind helping me to find a closer hotel that has a security system because of my reference documents, I prefer to live alone in a private room. Let me ask you about the transportation’s city which is a crucial thing in
this
 period some traffic jams hinder movement and I must be in college early I intend to book a driver’s car. Thank you for your consideration. Yours faithfully, Monirah
Submitted by M on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains one main idea and that all sentences within it are cohesive, supporting that idea.
Task Achievement
Maintain a consistent formal tone throughout the letter without using informal language such as 'pretty beneficial'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs for each bullet point, and a conclusion to improve logical estructure.
Task Achievement
Avoid typographical and grammatical mistakes such as 'would to assistance to me' which should be 'would assist me' to ensure clarity.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accommodation officer
  • Enrollment
  • Campus
  • Homestay
  • Efficient route
  • Amenities
  • Boarding
  • Public transportation
  • Orientation
  • Residency
  • Facilities
  • Commute
  • Accessibility
  • Local area
  • Confirmation
  • Terminal
  • Conveyance
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