Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school

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Many

people

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are of the opinion that young

people

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's priority

Change preposition

for

show examples

a successful career is taking courses from higher education.

However

Linking Words

, some believe that getting

jobs

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after

finished

Wrong verb form

finishing

show examples

high school is better.

This

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writer was in two

mind

Change to a plural noun

minds

show examples

, and will discuss

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apply

show examples

both sides in

this

Linking Words

essay. It is vital to understand that the higher qualifications

students

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have, the better job they will get.

Students

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spend

approximate

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approximately

show examples

four years on courses which taught they massive and professional knowledge in their

field

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fields

show examples

such

Linking Words

as law,

engineering

Correct word choice

and engineering

show examples

As a consequence

Linking Words

, young

people

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will gain expert knowledge and have more opportunities for promotion in their work. On the whole, a plan for

further

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educating

Replace the word

education

show examples

after high school should be set up by young

people

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. It can be clearly seen that late teens will gain experience from early

jobs

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which is essential for their

jobs

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. During their work, they can always learn from their mentors some skills

such

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as communicating and networking.

Hence

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this

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leads late teens to be more mature and able to solve problems in

working

Correct article usage

a working

show examples

environment.

Therefore

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, they can easily have better

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

due to

Linking Words

their soft skills. Personally, I hold the belief that

student

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students

show examples

will gain more and more benefits from higher education.

Although

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early

jobs

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Change the verb form

are

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attractive to teenagers,

university

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the university

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not only

give

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gives

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you specialized knowledge but

also

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improve

Correct subject-verb agreement

improves

show examples

students

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' coop skills. All things considered,

although

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getting

jobs

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Add a missing verb

is an

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upward trend among

students

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, more and more companies are likely to hire employees who have degrees or better qualifications.

Thu Aug 17 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

249 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic qualifications
Specialized skills
In-depth knowledge
Personal growth
Social development
Practical experience
Financial independence
Career progression
Professional networking
Education
Work experience
Successful career
Personal interests
Career goals
Decision-making process

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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

Today, an increasing number of younger individuals have to compete with older generations for the same positions. What challenges arise from this situation? What solutions would you propose?

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Some people believe that teaching children at home is the best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.