some people think that the advantages of sports products through famous sports players outweigh the disadvantages .To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #sports #products #players

We all well know that advertising

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these days has a far impact on every individual. From,

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

there are few people think that the advantages of

sports

products through famous

sports

person have more benefits and fewer disadvantages. I agree with the above statement and the following paragraphs will explain both views. Nowadays, there are many

sports

companies who wish to advertise their products from a famous sportsperson. As from their point of view says

this

will increase their demand for the

product

in the whole market. People

also

buy the same

product

advertise

Wrong verb form

advertised

show examples

by famous

sports

person because one has deep knowledge as they are aware of

this

for a very long time. For ,instance we all are aware, of the famous Indian cricketer Virat

Kolhi

Correct your spelling

Kohli

who has the most number of followers on Instagram from India. If he represents Puma the rise

for

Change preposition

show examples

that brand will increase tremendously.

Furthermore

, his financial income will grow and his popularity will

also

show a change in numbers.

On the other hand

, we

also

have disadvantages at the same time. There are many children who are stubborn and want the same material that they see in the advertisement shown by their ideal. These are the children who are unmatured and

does

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not understand the household conditions. In

this

,case one should understand his parent's financial crisis and just leave these things behind and focus on his studies or career. In conclusion, there are many advantages as there is demand for that

product

increase and every individual who buys it

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

aware they are not buying

Correct article usage

the

show examples

wrong

product

because it is advertised by one of the famous sportsperson itself. There are disadvantages as well which can definitely be controlled in future.

Submitted by shavidhillain on Thu Aug 17 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think that the advantages of sports products through famous sports players outweigh the disadvantages .To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, the increasing number of schools in Vietnam are facing with the alarming issue, school violence. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Q. Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people around the world use social media day to keep in touch with other people and new events. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?