Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults

Raising

children

involves trust and confidence. Some people think that

children

should have the freedom to make

mistakes

whereas

others believe adults should prevent

children

from making

mistakes

This

essay will discuss the opposing sides and offer my own opinion. It is understandable that parents want to keep their

children

safe from harm. By stopping their child from doing so, they keep them protected from danger and out of harm’s way.

Furthermore

, adults can reduce the effect of

further

bad consequences.

For instance

, by forbidding their child to drink alcohol, they not only stop them from being intoxicated

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

obstruct any subsequent repercussions,

such

as physical or sexual harm by others and loss of property or money.

Moreover

this

means

children

will be less likely to have regrets about their past actions, reducing the risk of loss of self-esteem or confidence.

However

, I believe parents should allow their

children

to make

mistakes

Firstly

, doing so helps

children

to build resilience.

This

is the ability to recover from a setback

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and helps them to develop the valuable characteristic of growing from failures.

Secondly

, it teaches them responsibility. By making

mistakes

children

are able to see the consequences of their actions

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and can learn to be better prepared for the future.

Additionally

, they learn decision-making skills. Making a mistake helps to understand how their decisions impact situations and other people.

This

helps to develop their thought process and grow in wisdom.

Lastly

, making errors teaches them about themselves. It helps a child to identify what motivates them intrinsically, and what their strengths and weaknesses are. Making

mistakes

is an essential part of life and one that each of us can learn from. It teaches us about ourselves,

others

Correct word choice

and others

show examples

and how to best avoid

mistakes

in the future.

Submitted by 2016792106 on Fri Aug 18 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems? What measures could be taken to solve them.

Some people encourage young children to leave their parents house as soon as they become adults while other say children should stay at their parents house as long as possible. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Many people believe in the idea of school children wearing a school uniform, but should teachers as well be required to conform to a dress code? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they where born