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Band 7.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
Nowadays, many countries try to innovate new things with the help of
science
, which exaggerates the quality of
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
 lives. Many argue that the most crucial aim of
science
 is to improve the lives of ordinary people. From my point of view, I agree with the statement that
science
 can have a profound and positive impact on social
life
.
To begin
 with,
science
 plays a significant role in enhancing the well-being of individuals and societies by generating knowledge, developing technologies, and finding solutions in every sector. The first and foremost objective of scientific research is often
centered
Change the spelling
centred
show examples
 around improving human health,eradicating disease, reducing stress, and prolonging
life
 expectancy. Advances in medicine,
for instance
, have led to the discovery of the COVID-19 vaccine, effective treatment, and better diagnostic tools that help us increase the quality of
life
 and
life
 expectancy.
In addition
,
science
 contributes to economic and social progress by teaching us how to energize living standards in the proper way.
On the other hand
, scientific advancements in fields
such
 as energy,communication, transportation, and agriculture have transformed societies and made our lives more convenient.
For example
, with modern technology, many African countries are easily growing foods in agriculture sectors with the help of modern tools and artificial drainage systems.
Consequently
, the livelihood of the general population develops day by day.
Moreover
,
science
also
 expands the purpose of our understanding of the natural world, pushing the boundaries of the idea of natural hazards and addressing the fundamental problems
due to
 climate change. In conclusion, pure scientific research drives our curiosity and exploration of energy as both economic strength and sustainability,which contribute to the progress of human
life
.
Submitted by jonahid.stu20ju on

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Grammar
Ensure correct usage of spaces particularly after commas and periods.
Content
Avoid making general unproven statements such as 'Many argue that the most crucial aim of science is to improve the lives of ordinary people.' without supporting them.
Vocabulary
Try and diversify your vocabulary more so as not to repeat phrases.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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