IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Discuss both advantages and disadvantages of this trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#students #gap #year #university #travel #gain #work #trend
Nowadays, college or university educations are very popular which creates vast studying opportunities for learners.
Therefore
, many of them have been choosing to delay a
year
 of studying to travel or work to gain experience.
Although
 there might be some benefits in making decisions for future careers,
however
, many drawbacks are
also
 contained and I will discuss more detail in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, it easily is seen that every student has their own dream about their prospective
jobs
,
nevertheless
, they do not have much experience to make the right choice,
then
 taking a crack period will give them chances to experience many different
jobs
 which could give a clarification view about their future
jobs
.
Moreover
, going through the process of earning money will help students understand clearly the merits of payment so when they are ready
for taking
Change preposition
to take
show examples
 a diploma or bachelor's course they will endeavour to not waste the amount they have already paid to register for that course. In
this
 case, they will think carefully before deciding to take a course. ***Despite some advantages, there are
also
 some detrimental impacts affecting when choosing to delay one
year
 of studying
such
 as losing interest in studying
due to
 being passionate about earning money.
In addition
, in some countries, the entrance test to universities is the most important and toughest test in student life,*** if students take a cut time before joining that test, it is much more challenging to pass
this
 exam because of forgetting knowledge. In conclusion, though there is some predominance in making decisions about choosing imminent
jobs
 when taking a gap
year
,
however
, it may contain some deleterious elements
such
 as forgetting knowledge or giving up studying
due to
 passion for earning money. Whereby, each student should consider thoughtfully before making choices about whether to stop for a
year
 or not.
Submitted by lantran180487 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the logical structure could be more organized to improve the overall flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task adequately, providing relevant ideas and examples. However, the development of ideas could be more comprehensive, and the use of relevant specific examples could be improved to strengthen the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: