Some people think that poverty is the reason for most crimes. Do you agree or disagree?

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Poverty

Use synonyms

is an increasing problem that affects both, developing and developed nations and many people believe that it is because of

this

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that the crime rate is increasing.

Although

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poverty

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plays a role in it, it is not solely responsible. I will substantiate my reasoning in the course of

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essay. As mentioned earlier,

Poverty

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is something that affects all nations, and because of

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, there are sections of society that resort to crimes

such

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as theft and pickpocketing to earn a living. To make matters worse, others prey on the desperation of the poor, to achieve their personal goals.

For example

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, in South Africa, rival factions control the streets of the major cities and they resort to drug smuggling, extortion, and other misdemeanours to get by.

However

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poverty

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is not the only cause

for

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show examples

criminal activity. Many of the online crimes, committed are done by professionals who wish to either bring down a company or rob major corporations of their millions, for easy cash.

For example

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, a couple of months ago, Russian cyber gangs targeted major corporations demanding $70 million in Bitcoin.

Furthermore

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, the influential members of society

also

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participate in

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activity, not only for the lure of easy cash but

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because they are aware that they can get away with it. An example of

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would be the gold smuggling cases which occurred in Trivandrum at the beginning of the year. In conclusion,

Poverty

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cannot be solely pegged as the main cause of criminal activity.

Instead

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, it is the lure of instant rewards that leads an individual down

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road, and I believe

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is the main reason for the increase in crime.

Submitted by Nigelvictorlawrence on Sun Oct 24 2021

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure, with well-defined paragraphs that each focus on a singular idea related to the prompt. Your introduction and conclusion were present but could be more precise and direct with respect to the question. Consider refining your thesis statement and summarizing your points more coherently in the conclusion.

Task Achievement

You did provide a completed response with clear ideas and examples, but it lacked depth and did not address the prompt fully from both perspectives. The prompt calls for a discussion on whether poverty is the primary reason for most crimes followed by a personal stance. Consider developing both sides of the argument more equally and offering a more nuanced personal opinion.

Lexical Resource

You demonstrated a good range of vocabulary. However, you could enhance your essay by using a wider variety of sentence structures and incorporating more complex language features, such as conditionals and modal verbs, to articulate the nuances of your argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Your essay showed an adequate grasp of grammar, but for a higher score, aim to showcase a wider grammatical range with complex sentence constructions and varied punctuation. This could involve the use of more complex clauses and varied grammatical forms to add fluency and complexity to your writing.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Some people think that poverty is the reason for most crimes. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that young people are unfit for holding significant positions in the government, while others maintain that it is beneficial for them to occupy such roles. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People learn things better from those at their own level—such as fellow students or co-workers—than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In many countries, people decide to have children at a later age than in the past. Why? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many museums charge admission fees while others are free. Do the advantages of charging people to visit a museum outweigh the disadvantages?