With growing population in the cities, more and more people live in hones with little and no outdoors space. Do you think this is a position or negative development?

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These days, cities have a big matter which is overpopulation, so urbanizations have to live in small accommodation places without any outdoor spaces. In my opinion, living in tiny buildings is an adverse trend owing to the fact that it impacts the population's
health
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and the environment. On the one hand, when the individual resides in big houses, they have a lot of space for their own gym and doing sports regularly. In fact, it aids them to be in shape and prevent the range of illnesses that are a result of obesity,
such
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as heart attacks and so on.
In addition
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, the big houses provide a majority of space for inviting a number of guests.
Therefore
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, parties create a chance for people to interact with each other and improve their communication which has a lot of influence on their mental
health
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.
On the other hand
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, if people have a lot of regions in front of their residential places, they will alter
this
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area to Greenland.
In other words
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, vegetation creates an opportunity for wild animals to live with humans and affects urban biodiversity.
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, trees and planets are the best creatures that reduce the amount of toxic gases and have a positive effect on air pollution. To summarise, housing density has a negative impact on the citizens'
health
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inasmuch as it leads people to sedentary lifestyles and their social interactions, which affect their mental
health
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.
Moreover
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, it has an unfavourable influence on wild animals and the quality of air.
To conclude
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, in my view,
this
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fashion does not have benefits for cities' inhabitants.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your argument related to health and environmental impact.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is mostly clear, refining the transitions between points could help in maintaining the reader’s interest and enhancing coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within that paragraph relate to that idea.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clear and effectively frame the debate and your position on the issue.
task achievement
Each of your main points is well-explored and mostly supported.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • housing density
  • lifestyle diseases
  • affordable housing
  • urban biodiversity
  • social cohesion
  • mental health
  • communal activities
  • high-density housing
  • green areas
  • isolation
  • economic growth
  • public parks
  • community building
  • land use efficiency
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