Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss ofparticular species ofplants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

It is often argued that the
extinction
of typical
species
is the most important problem or
other
Correct word choice
that other
show examples
more serious environmental
problems
are existing
Wrong verb form
exist
show examples
. And I believe that there are more important
problems
which people have to care about.
Firstly
, many people say that the
extinction
of particular plants or animal
species
is the most important problem associated with the environment. The loss of typical
species
will be followed by the
extinction
of another
species
.
For example
, bees are continuously disappearing these days and
also
many flowers and other plants
start
Wrong verb form
have started
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to disappear because the number of bees is decreasing, cannot move honey and flower
seed
Fix the agreement mistake
seeds
show examples
well from plant to plant. And
finally
occurring
Verb problem
apply
show examples
another
extinction
again, repeatedly.
On the contrary
, there are
also
serious environmental
problems
according to
global warming. As Earth’s temperature
is getting
Wrong verb form
gets
show examples
hotter, it directly influences people’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For instance
, the higher
Earth’s
Correct article usage
the Earth’s
show examples
temperature, the more glaciers
are getting
Verb problem
apply
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melt and
this
will be followed by the
sea
level
rising
Verb problem
apply
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. After the
sea
level
rises, many small lands will be drowned under the
sea
and the people who are living there will lose their homes. They should move to another country to keep their life safe.
To sum up
, there are many
problems
generated in the environment including the loss of particular
species
like bees and the increasing
level
of the
sea
,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
I strongly believe the problem which starts with melting glaciers and rising the
sea
level
is as important as the loss of nature
species
.
Submitted by guseoin on

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task response
Provide a clear position and supporting arguments for both views
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas and linking between sentences and paragraphs
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