IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #consumers #supermarket #food #world #development
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In these
Change preposition
These
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 days, imported
food
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products
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 are available from all over the world for consumption in every convenience store. I believe that
although
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 a variety of
products
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 is good, only depending on imported
food
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 may cause a serious crisis. On the one hand, a majority of
food
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 choices are not a bad thing but actually help both the government and the civilians. To illustrate, imported foods are often much more expensive than locally produced
products
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.
This
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 is because governments tend to include extra taxes on these items as they are considered to be luxury items.
Thus
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, when citizens continue to consume them, extra taxes are paid, which can contribute to the
overall
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 advancement of the country.
Moreover
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, people have different tastes and preferences, so if they have a more varied list of choices, they will be able to fulfil their desires and might even learn about different cultures through their
food
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.
On the other hand
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, overreliance on these
products
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 might cause a number of economic problems.
This
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 is mainly caused by the fact that conflicts among countries may occur at any time, and without
food
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 security,
food
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 can be a strategic weapon to pressure the enemy and put the citizens at risk of starvation.
For instance
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, during the beginning of the siege crisis in Qatar, the country lacked basic
food
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 supplies
such
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 as fruits, vegetables, and dairy,
due to
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 the lack of local production and its lack of authority among the Qatari residents and locals.
Thus
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 supermarkets quickly ran out of supplies, and people nearly starved. In conclusion,
while
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 the presence of imported supplies in supermarkets will not actually do any harm, these
products
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 should be just a complement to local production to overcome the risk of political exploitation.
Submitted by m.mahmoud.2005 on

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Task Response
Ensure that you fully address both the positive and negative aspects of the development clearly with balanced argumentation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to avoid using informal expressions such as 'In these days', instead use 'Nowadays'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Very well-structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion. A logical sequence in the arguments is observed throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
You effectively used relevant examples to support your points, such as the situation in Qatar.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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