The problem with society today is that it is essentially unbalanced, with some people being paid huge salaries to work very long hours, whilst others do not have a job and have too much time on their hands. There is no middle ground. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The unemployment rate has skyrocketed in many parts of the world in recent years.
While
Linking Words
limited
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
are employed to
work
Use synonyms
overtime and are remunerated handsomely,
Use synonyms
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
are out of
Use synonyms
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
are struggling to feed their families and afford their basic necessities. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will explain even though the disparity in income and
work
Use synonyms
availability is happening, why I disagree that
this
Linking Words
is the case for
Use synonyms
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, limited
people
Use synonyms
are well paid and
work
Use synonyms
around the clock. These
people
Use synonyms
are influential and / or have unique qualities and expertise that make them highly sought after in the
job
Use synonyms
market.
For instance
Linking Words
, lawyers, doctors, chartered accountants, and computer professionals
work
Use synonyms
longer hours and
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
remunerated fairly for their effort. So it seems like they have an unfair advantage over other common
people
Use synonyms
. On the other end, for many individuals, finding a
job
Use synonyms
is extremely difficult.
People
Use synonyms
are not getting a
job
Use synonyms
even after applying and following up several times.
This
Linking Words
is simply
due to
Linking Words
the fact that there is far lower demand for workers than a number of
people
Use synonyms
willing to
work
Use synonyms
, and
also
Linking Words
a few who have access to
jobs
Use synonyms
are doing multiple
jobs
Use synonyms
at once. So many families have become and become homeless, have no access to proper healthcare and education
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and even have been struggling to put food on their plates. So our society seems totally imbalanced.
However
Linking Words
, I believe the situation is not as bad as it seems.
Although
Linking Words
there are many
such
Linking Words
extreme examples,
Use synonyms
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
are still maintaining a decent
work
Use synonyms
-life balance. They have a day
job
Use synonyms
, which earns them a living, and
also
Linking Words
allows them to have time with their loved ones and family. Yes, there are
people
Use synonyms
around who are not
this
Linking Words
fortunate, and yet I believe
this
Linking Words
is the case for most
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, few
people
Use synonyms
have secured high-salary
jobs
Use synonyms
and
work
Use synonyms
longer hours to justify them. For others, it's hard to find
jobs
Use synonyms
even if they have plenty of time available.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
I think
this
Linking Words
does not represent
Use synonyms
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of the population. For me, most are working and doing leisure activities, attaining a
work
Use synonyms
-life balance.
Submitted by sth.kumar2010 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: