The problem with society today is that it is essentially unbalanced, with some people being paid huge salaries to work very long hours, whilst others do not have a job and have too much time on their hands. There is no middle ground. Do you agree or disagree?

#society #people #salaries #work #hours #whilst #job #time #hands #middle #ground

The unemployment rate has skyrocketed in many parts of the world in recent years.

While

limited

people

Correct quantifier usage

number of people

show examples

are employed to

work

overtime and are remunerated handsomely,

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

people

are out of

job

Correct article usage

the job

show examples

Due to

this

, many

people

are struggling to feed their families and afford their basic necessities. In

this

essay, I will explain even though the disparity in income and

work

availability is happening, why I disagree that

this

is the case for

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

show examples

people

Firstly

, limited

people

are well paid and

work

around the clock. These

people

are influential and / or have unique qualities and expertise that make them highly sought after in the

job

market.

For instance

, lawyers, doctors, chartered accountants, and computer professionals

work

longer hours and

also

Add a missing verb

are also

show examples

remunerated fairly for their effort. So it seems like they have an unfair advantage over other common

people

. On the other end, for many individuals, finding a

job

is extremely difficult.

People

are not getting a

job

even after applying and following up several times.

This

is simply

due to

the fact that there is far lower demand for workers than a number of

people

willing to

work

, and

also

a few who have access to

jobs

are doing multiple

jobs

at once. So many families have become and become homeless, have no access to proper healthcare and education

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and even have been struggling to put food on their plates. So our society seems totally imbalanced.

However

, I believe the situation is not as bad as it seems.

Although

there are many

such

extreme examples,

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

people

are still maintaining a decent

work

-life balance. They have a day

job

, which earns them a living, and

also

allows them to have time with their loved ones and family. Yes, there are

people

around who are not

this

fortunate, and yet I believe

this

is the case for most

people

. In conclusion, few

people

have secured high-salary

jobs

and

work

longer hours to justify them. For others, it's hard to find

jobs

even if they have plenty of time available.

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

I think

this

does not represent

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

show examples

of the population. For me, most are working and doing leisure activities, attaining a

work

-life balance.

Submitted by sth.kumar2010 on Fri Aug 18 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

368 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The problem with society today is that it is essentially unbalanced, with some people being paid huge salaries to work very long hours, whilst others do not have a job and have too much time on their hands. There is no middle ground. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some children spend hours everyday on smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sport which are played in teams, like footbool, while other people think that taking part in individuals sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many professional sports, there is a increase in the number of athletes used banned substances to improve their performance. what are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?