IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that children who are brought up in families which don't have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up in wealthier families. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #children #families #amounts #money #adult #life
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Some people assume that
children
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 who have been raised in low economy-based
families
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 tend to cope with adult life issues. Personally, I completely agree with the former statement that
kids
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 raised in different conditions will have varied results. First and foremost,
children
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 who are adapted to the harsh and severe life conditions, and failures will not provide a fear of colliding with stress and are inclined to earn higher salaries compared to their rich offspring.
For instance
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,
kids
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 who are grown up in
families
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 who are not good in finance tend to have abilities to manage the budget and earn more to be the best
parent
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parents
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 to afford all
needs
Correct article usage
the needs
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 of their
kids
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.
Additionally
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, they will not go into depression when their business goes bankrupt
instead
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 they will try to prevent any risks and will take it easy because they have gone through difficulties.
Thus
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, they have fundamental approaches on how to tackle the problems with money thanks to the experience of their parents. The other considerable reason for
this
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 is that living in a family with low financial status helps
children
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 to reach goals and achievements through their
effort
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efforts
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.
In other words
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, if
kids
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 want something, they are likely to own it without distracting their parents.
For example
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, a boy who wants a toy will do it by himself because of his family's condition and do actions himself
such
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 as searching for ways to construct toys with affordable stuff at home.
Hence
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, it boosts vital skills, namely responsibility and critical thinking which are important to deal with any issues.
To conclude
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, it provides better opportunities to
children
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 who are brought up in
families
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 which do not have enough money because it helps them tackle adult life issues. I completely agree with the supplied notion that bringing up low economy-based
families
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 provides benefits to
adolescence
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adolescents
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.
Submitted by arnakaldybai on

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coherence cohesion
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