Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
It is often said that people spend a lot of free
time
staying in
their smartphones. A lot of things in Change preposition
on
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
life
are linked with
Change preposition
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
phone
usage, for example
, work, studying, communication
. Correct word choice
and communication
However
, it is used as a source of dopamine with so many social media and games which are build
to have all your attention. Wrong verb form
built
This
consume
a big part of our Change the verb form
consumes
time
in a day and, as a result
, individuals struggle with time
deficit, attention disorder and health problems.
The reason I agree with the statement is a
fact that Correct article usage
the
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
appeared
to take Wrong verb form
appear
all
of our free Change preposition
up all
time
by providing us the
fastest way of interaction. Add the preposition
with the
For instance
, you need to put much more effort to do
things like playing soccer in real Change preposition
into doing
life
and it is easier to make it in
your Change preposition
on
phone
.
Furthermore
, phones have an influence on our socialization, moreover
, sometimes people refuse to make personal meetings and walks because they just have a much more pleasure staying at their phones. It is well-known
fact that Correct article usage
a well-known
the
real Correct article usage
apply
face to face
conversations are rarely applied in nowadays Add a hyphen
face-to-face
life
which makes us use our phones to
much. Replace the word
too
For
this
reason, individuals facing
Wrong verb form
face
a problems
with Correct the article-noun agreement
problems
a problem
headache
, ADHD and other health problems.
Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
To conclude
, all the free time
spent on your phone
has a negative influence on aspects of your personal and social life
. I believe that our society seek
to resolve Change the verb form
seeks
this
problem as fast as possible because this
problem will be increasing year by year.Submitted by acaitaz on
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, further elaborate on why individuals prefer phone activities over real-life activities, using more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by using variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. For example, use terms like 'in addition,' 'furthermore,' or 'as a result.'
coherence cohesion
You introduced and concluded the essay well, which is vital for organizing your thoughts clearly.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively by discussing the reasons and the effect of smartphone usage.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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