IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Car owership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are n ow "one big traffic jam'

#car #owership #thirty #years #cities #world #n #ow #traffic #jam
Traffic
congestion
 has become a significant issue worldwide, largely
due to
 the increasing number of private car owners. In my view, I agree with
this
 statement, and I believe the government should take action to address the problem.
This
 essay will discuss possible solutions in the following paragraphs. Nowadays,
people
 prefer using their own
cars
 rather than public transport for several reasons. One major factor is the growing availability of affordable
cars
, which has led to a surge in private vehicle ownership.
Cars
 today are not only more affordable but
also
 of higher quality compared to the past.
For example
, electric vehicles (EVs) are becoming increasingly popular
due to
 their innovative features and eco-friendly nature. Since EVs do not rely on fuel, many
people
 are choosing to buy them in an effort to reduce daily living costs.
However
,
this
 trend has contributed significantly to
traffic
congestion
 in urban areas. In cities like Bangkok,
for instance
, it can take two hours for commuters to travel just five
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
due to
 heavy
traffic
.
According to
 government reports, approximately 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of university graduates working in Bangkok use private
cars
 for their daily commute. In my opinion, there are two effective solutions that governments can implement to help reduce
traffic
congestion
.
First,
the public transportation system should be better connected, making it easier for
people
 to reach all parts of the city. Many
people
 choose to drive their own
cars
 because public transport requires multiple transfers, which can be inconvenient.
Second,
the cost of public transportation should be adjusted to make it more affordable for citizens, ensuring that it aligns with their income levels. Lowering fares could encourage more
people
 to use public transport
instead
 of driving. In conclusion, the rise in car ownership is clearly linked to increased
traffic
congestion
. From my perspective, government intervention, combined with cooperation from citizens, can help alleviate
this
 issue.
Submitted by narnrs1 on

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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement, try to include more varied and specific examples that support each argument. This will help to strengthen your points and demonstrate a fuller understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider improving the linking of your ideas across sentences and paragraphs. Use clear linking words to make your argument more seamless and easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the question by identifying the issue and proposing solutions.
coherence cohesion
Both introduction and conclusion are well-presented, giving a clear overview of the argument and summarizing the main points.
coherence cohesion
The main points regarding the causes of increased car ownership and potential solutions are logically structured, contributing to a coherent argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urban areas
  • commuters
  • public transport efficiency
  • air quality
  • emissions
  • public health
  • respiratory problems
  • economic effects
  • loss of productivity
  • commute times
  • fuel consumption
  • alternative solutions
  • public transportation systems
  • car-sharing programs
  • cycling and walking
  • government policies
  • urban planning
  • congestion charges
  • restrictions on car use
What to do next:
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