in many countries around the world rural people are moving to cities so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or negative development?
The soaring trend of
people
’s immigration from suburbs to capitals and megacities is causing a considerable population decrease in suburbs and an increase in the destination location’s population. From my point of view, this
is a disadvantageous development happening in many countries and there are various reasons supporting my opinion which I will discuss in the subsequent paragraphs.
First of all, the migration of people
who used to live in rural areas
causes a fall in rural areas
and an increase in mega cities which can impact social welfare in different aspects, for example
, the rising number of people
in a specific place can lead to rising price rate of accommodation because of limited sources
that can afford to accommodate a certain number of people
.In addition
, the lack of other urban facilities can cause problems and misfunctions in the health care system, transportation system and education system of that certain place because urban planning and social policies are based on certain conditions and function in those conditions so
, implying a burden to these systems caused by the unforeseen rise of the population can prevent them from functioning well.
Rephrase
apply
Additionally
, social and legal experts believe that unusual immigration rates from suburbs to urban areas
can cause a significant crime rate increase. In big cities, due to
a lack of enough forces to supervise people
’s interaction, social sources
and different cultures and ,behaviours
the potential conflicts between citizens can change into actual conflicts between them. Add a comma
,behaviours
For example
, in my hometown which is well-known for great medical and health care services, the group of people
who migrated here to obtain better
life quality especially, better treatment quality cause regular conflicts between other Correct article usage
a better
people
due to
different behaviour and culture
and sometimes they occupy social Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
sources
so there are not enough available facilities for citizens.
To sum up
, considering the rising trend of immigration to urban areas
, I think due to
limited sources
and facilities in the destination which can form a socio-economic crisis and challenges for authorities and citizens, Correct your spelling
resources
this
is not a beneficial development because deprives both sides of gaining better life qualities.Submitted by eemami14 on
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content
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grammatical
There are a number of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing throughout your essay. Ensure to proofread your work before submission.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
