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Writing Samples
Band 7

The following bar chart shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000

The following bar chart shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000
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The bar chart illustrates
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about the proportion of travellers who used different types of vehicles to commute to
work
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 in a European city during a period from 1960 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of commuters who used cars rose steadily over the period,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of
people
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 who travelled by other means of transport fell. In 1960, approximately 35% of
people
Use synonyms
 commuted to
work
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 on foot, compared to only about 5% of
people
Use synonyms
travelled
Correct pronoun usage
who travelled
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 by car. The percentage of those who used bikes and buses
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 around 25% and 18% respectively.
However
Linking Words
, in 1980 travelling by bus was by far the most popular transport mode, accounting for over 25% of total
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 only 17% of
people
Use synonyms
travelling
Wrong verb form
travelled
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 on foot. The figures for
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
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 and
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 were around 20% and 22% respectively.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the period, more than 35% of commuters used cars to commute to
work
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 city in 2000, which was much higher than the figure for bus users, at around 16%. The percentage of those who travelled to
work
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 on foot and by bike fell to 9% and 6% respectively.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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