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In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #salaries #country #governments #level
The wealth gulf between the haves and have-nots has widened to a certain extent across the globe, which fuels a debate about whether it is beneficial to our society or should restrict the rich from earning more money. From my perspective,
although
 it should permit everyone to make as much money as they can in a legal manner, some measures need to be taken
for narrowing
Change preposition
to narrow
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 the gap. On the one hand, the pursuit of fortune acts as a driving force for people to work hard and revolutionize the world. Propelled by the return of high remuneration, entrepreneurs can devote themselves to scientific discoveries and business management, which cannot only change the way we live but
meet
Rephrase
also meet
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 our needs.
For instance
, Steve Jobs and his partners spared no pain in creating a device that could connect us with the rest of the world.
As a result
, electronic gadgets
such
 as
iPhone
Correct article usage
the iPhone
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 and iPad have facilitated our lives by means of modern technologies, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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also
thrives
Verb problem
apply
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the local economy of the country as they
became
Wrong verb form
become
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 billionaires.
On the other hand
, the unfair distribution of the fortune may result in chaos and instability in the country.
Consequently
, it is better to take action against the inequality in wealth, thereby creating a harmonious society worldwide. For one thing, with the influence of globalization, international giants have reigned supreme in some markets,
such
 as online shopping, the oil industry, etc., which allows them to reap a great sum of revenues at the expense of the rising cost of living for citizens.
Therefore
, senior executives and managers in those enterprises should not make money without any restrictions. For another, by introducing wage limitations or imposing higher taxes for the high-salary class, it is able to distribute the wealth equally,
thus
 improving the living standard of people as a whole. In conclusion,
while
 a high salary plays a big part in motivating people to make great contributions that are beneficial to the country, I tend to argue that there are some measures that should be implemented to cap the exponential increase in wages for the highest earners in society.
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task response
Ensure a clear and direct response to the prompt throughout the essay. Make sure to present a balanced view of both sides of the argument and provide a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Develop a stronger introduction and conclusion to provide a more cohesive structure to the essay. Use linking words and transitional phrases to improve coherence and flow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • incentivize
  • discrepancy
  • inequality
  • social cohesion
  • equitable distribution
  • wealth concentration
  • talent retention
  • global competitiveness
  • social unrest
  • innovate
  • government intervention
  • salary cap
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