In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #salaries #country #governments #level

The wealth gulf between the haves and have-nots has widened to a certain extent across the globe, which fuels a debate about whether it is beneficial to our society or should restrict the rich from earning more money. From my perspective,

although

it should permit everyone to make as much money as they can in a legal manner, some measures need to be taken

for narrowing

Change preposition

to narrow

show examples

the gap. On the one hand, the pursuit of fortune acts as a driving force for people to work hard and revolutionize the world. Propelled by the return of high remuneration, entrepreneurs can devote themselves to scientific discoveries and business management, which cannot only change the way we live but

meet

Rephrase

also meet

show examples

our needs.

For instance

, Steve Jobs and his partners spared no pain in creating a device that could connect us with the rest of the world.

As a result

, electronic gadgets

such

iPhone

Correct article usage

the iPhone

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and iPad have facilitated our lives by means of modern technologies, and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

also

thrives

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the local economy of the country as they

became

Wrong verb form

become

show examples

billionaires.

On the other hand

, the unfair distribution of the fortune may result in chaos and instability in the country.

Consequently

, it is better to take action against the inequality in wealth, thereby creating a harmonious society worldwide. For one thing, with the influence of globalization, international giants have reigned supreme in some markets,

such

as online shopping, the oil industry, etc., which allows them to reap a great sum of revenues at the expense of the rising cost of living for citizens.

Therefore

, senior executives and managers in those enterprises should not make money without any restrictions. For another, by introducing wage limitations or imposing higher taxes for the high-salary class, it is able to distribute the wealth equally,

thus

improving the living standard of people as a whole. In conclusion,

while

a high salary plays a big part in motivating people to make great contributions that are beneficial to the country, I tend to argue that there are some measures that should be implemented to cap the exponential increase in wages for the highest earners in society.

Submitted by 76805977 on Sat Aug 19 2023

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task response

Ensure a clear and direct response to the prompt throughout the essay. Make sure to present a balanced view of both sides of the argument and provide a clear opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Develop a stronger introduction and conclusion to provide a more cohesive structure to the essay. Use linking words and transitional phrases to improve coherence and flow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

354 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

incentivize
discrepancy
inequality
social cohesion
equitable distribution
wealth concentration
talent retention
global competitiveness
social unrest
innovate
government intervention
salary cap

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In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems.

Nowadays, people try to balance between works and other part of lives. However, not many is able to achieve this. What problems does this cause ? Can you suggest some solutions to this issue ?

In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their babies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?