IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In the past, most people lived in small villages , where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?

#people #villages #cities #area #community
Many years ago, a
lot
 of
people
 lived in small
villages
 where they recognized everyone and they
familiar
Add a missing verb
were familiar
show examples
 to everyone.These days,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of
people
 living in big cities where
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
few
people
familiar
Add a missing verb
are familiar
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
they
Change the pronoun
them
show examples
. First of all, there are
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 living in
a small
Correct the article-noun agreement
a small village
small villages
show examples
villages
.
For instance
,because of agriculture,
people
 will be
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
.So,they do a
lot
 of effort
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 evolve their products of agriculture.
Also
,there are plenty of plants
grow
Wrong verb form
growing
show examples
 there.These plants produce many oxygen.So,there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not any pollution of air.
Secondly
,the inhabitants of a small community
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 accommodating, generous,welcoming and loving with each other.When you need something or you have any problem, they help you right away.
Thirdly
, the residence of these places is wide
although
 the village is small. You will travel and live with freedom.
Moreover
,there are
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 sides of living there.
For example
, there are the industry systems
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
few
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
.So, in
this
 place, the development is lower.
Also
, the workplace is not enough for
people
.
Thus
,there are a
lot
 of
people
 without
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
To conclude
,living in a small community has a
lot
 of diverse sides.But of course, I think small
villages
 are comfortable for everyone.
This
useful
Add a missing verb
is useful
show examples
 not only for us , but
also
 our members of
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
.Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
people
 living
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there will be a few ill than
people
 in the large city.In my opinion,living in
a small
Correct the article-noun agreement
a small village
small villages
show examples
villages
 is better than the other cities.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sense of community
  • Bond
  • Close-knit
  • Tight-knit
  • Belonging
  • Familiarity
  • Security
  • Support system
  • Social connections
  • Look out for
  • Have someone's back
What to do next:
Look at other essays: