IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

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Introduction
It is true that many
people
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 worldwide suffer from hunger
although
Linking Words
 developments have grown in agriculture. There are several reasons for
this
Linking Words
 and government should take some steps to alleviate
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Body paragraph 1
One of the reasons why
people
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 face acute
food
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 insecurity is
climate
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 change.
Climate
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 variety and extreme weather events
such
Linking Words
 as droughts, floods and storms can severely impact agricultural productivity. Small-scale farmers, who often lack the resources to adapt, are particularly vulnerable.
For example
Linking Words
, Zimbabwe is suffering a prolonged drought crisis which contributes to famine. Another reason is conflict. Regions affected by conflict or political instability often face challenges in
food
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 production. To be specific, wars and conflicts disrupt agricultural activities, displace populations and hinder humanitarian aid.
For instance
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, millions of
people
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 in Gaza are on the brink of famine as they struggle to access
food
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 since the **Israel–Hamas war**.
Body paragraph 2
Addressing hunger requires a comprehensive approach.
Firstly
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,
governments
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 should promote sustainable agricultural practices that enhance resilience to
climate
Use synonyms
 change, conserve natural resources, and improve productivity. These measures can help ensure
food
Use synonyms
 security in the long term.
For example
Linking Words
,
governments
Use synonyms
 can introduce new laws to regulate the usage of fertilizer, which will reduce soil quality and fertility and
thus
Linking Words
 impact
food
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 productivity if used excessively.
In addition
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, enhancing international cooperation and coordination among
governments
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, NGOs, and international organizations is crucial for addressing
food
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 security and ensuring equitable access to
food
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 resources.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the reasons why many
people
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 go hungry include
climate
Use synonyms
 change and conflict and
governments
Use synonyms
 should pay more attention to sustainable development and international coordination to address
food
Use synonyms
 insecurity.

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structure
Your essay structure is well-organized, with a clear introduction, developed body paragraphs, and a summarizing conclusion. Continue to structure your essays in this logical and easy-to-follow manner.
support
Great use of examples to support your main points. Specific instances like Zimbabwe’s drought and the situation in Gaza made your arguments much more convincing. Try to include such relevant examples whenever possible.
language
Consider broadening your range of linking devices to create even smoother transitions between ideas. While your essay flows well, using a broader variety of connectors can enhance readability.
task response
Remember to discuss the prompt fully, covering all aspects requested. In this case, you effectively addressed both the reasons for world hunger and possible solutions. Keep up the comprehensive responses!
structure
Structure and organization
support
Use of specific, relevant examples
task response
Comprehensive response to the prompt
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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