IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows British emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007.

The chart shows British emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007.
#british #emigration #destinations
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The bar chart below compares 5 destinations
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 chosen by
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
 for emigration
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2004 to 2007. the first option of emigration was Australia for
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 2006
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the most
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
decided
Add the particle
todecided
show examples
 go there with 51
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 slightly decreased to 24
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 in
following
Add an article
the following
show examples
 year.
spain
Change the capitalization
Spain
show examples
 ranked
second
Change preposition
as second
show examples
 country of migrant destination. the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
 there was almost the same in 2004 and 2005 with 35
thousand
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure moderately declined in 2006 and reached
throught
Correct your spelling
through
 the 27
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2007
USA
Correct article usage
The USA
show examples
 had the least emigrant from
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
 and most of them
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 in 2004 and 2006 with 24
thousand
Use synonyms
 and the fewer was in 2005 with under
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
19
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. France
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
 through the years
however
Linking Words
 in 2005 it could reach the most emigrant from Britain with 34
thousand
Use synonyms
.
overall
Linking Words
, Australia had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
emigration
Replace the word
emigrants
show examples
 and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 was the least
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 destination for Britain
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by majidimehrsa on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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