In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important fo people. why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Possessing a
house
is commonly seen as one of everyone's life's main objectives. Immediately after finding a job people rush to the bank asking for a loan to buy a habitation, despite sometimes is not more affordable than renting one.
Overall
, having a propriety gives a different value to the building itself, it feels more like a home than a
house
.
For instance
, usually rented habitations often cannot be decorated as the tenant wants because the landlord has different preferences.
In addition
, a contract is mandatory to rent a
house
, meaning it is a temporary solution.
For example
, my cousin has lived in a flat for more than ten years, but
last
month the landlord decided not to rent the
house
anymore.
Consequently
, my cousin has been asked to leave the place which he considered his home, which is extremely sad.
Moreover
, because of the rising popularity of BnBs and hotels, finding an affordable place to stay is quite impossible in most major cities at the moment. The data suggests, that in Rome roughly 35% of properties are used for tourist purposes.
As a result
,
rents
Change the noun form
rent
show examples
prices are rising sharply. In conclusion, I
overall
think that
this
situation is positive.
Although
loans'
Change noun form
loans
show examples
interest fees are pretty high, and buying a
house
is sometimes less convenient than renting it, I still think that owning it is way better. In fact, I would prefer to decide how to personalize it,
as well as
the number of rooms, the neighbourhood and how to organize my personal place.
In addition
, when having a family, kids would grow as a person there, and having the opportunity to express themself is the most important thing.
Submitted by alessandro.talese on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, consider varying sentence structures and length to introduce more rhythm. This will help keep the reader engaged and improve your essay's fluidity.
task achievement
It would be beneficial to slightly strengthen your argument by providing more statistical data or expert opinions, especially in the context of rental market impacts.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the reasons why owning a home is important in some countries and evaluates whether this is seen positively or negatively, fulfilling the requirements of the prompt well.
task achievement
The examples you provide, like the scenario with your cousin and rental market data in Rome, are specific and relevant, adding strength to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear and logical structure throughout the essay, with a defined introduction, body, and conclusion that facilitate easy reading and understanding.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction successfully sets the stage for the discussion and your conclusion neatly ties together the main points, reinforcing your overall position.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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