Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some would argue that the authorities give huge financial aid to
Correct article usage
apply
the
talented individuals,Correct article usage
apply
while
others are
of the view, this
is a waste of money and it should be spent on other projects.While
struggling actors need assistance at the beginning of their careers,I believe that the government should prioritise the healthcare sector.
On the one hand,new artists need support to uplift their professional trajectory because they are not well-established. No one knows them and they are not popular.In order to gain popularity,they need monetary support.For example
, Mary Kom the famous martial arts player was given a grant by the authorities to upskill her skills.Had it been the case where the government didn't support her, she would not have become such
a great player.However
,states should also
realise there is a surge of deaths due to
rising epidemics.This
could be reduced if the benefits are properly channelled which is providing more funds to healthcare.
On the other hand
,some section of society thinks the government should spend this
money to improve the health sector.Public health infrastructure in most of the countries is not proper and needs a huge amount of improvement.Because of the shortage of doctors and proper equipment, a lot of people do not get the basic surgeries done which results in major life-threatening challenges.
For example
,underdeveloped countries spend a lot of money in promoting music concerts and fail to provide free checkups to children and the death rate amongst youngsters is gaining spike
I believe healthcare should be of utmost priority for any governing body because it is a matter of life and death.
In conclusion,although
helping budding performers with loans is important, their talent can not save someone from dying and hence
it is better to prioritise funding well-being over artistsSubmitted by ankita91sh on
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Develop main points with more specific support and examples. While the essay presents some examples, such as Mary Kom, they require more detail and direct relevance to strengthen the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
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Coherence & Cohesion
Avoid ambiguous referents, e.g., 'these benefits'. Make clear connections between pronouns and their antecedents to maintain clarity.
Lexical Resource
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Grammatical Range & Accuracy
Check for subject-verb agreement and sentence structure errors that can impact the fluency and understanding of the text.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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