Many young people are motivated and successful at high school. Many others, however, lack motivation and see high school as irrelevant to their interests and needs. Why is this? What could be done to help all students succeed? Requirement : Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is sometimes argued that

while

Linking Words

some high

school

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students

Use synonyms

enjoy spending at and are satisfied with

school

Use synonyms

, others are bored

from

Change preposition

with

show examples

school

Use synonyms

. I believe that the reason why they are disappointed at

school

Use synonyms

is because there is (are?) a big gap between their ideal and reality and the emergence of

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

Firstly

Linking Words

, there is a gap between what they want to

study

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or make an effort to and what they are forced to

study

Use synonyms

every day. That difference can cause them not to

forcus

Correct your spelling

focus

to learn.

Secondaly

Correct your spelling

Secondly

, thanks to the technology innovation, more people, even high

school

Use synonyms

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

, can purchase

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

one.

However

Linking Words

smartphone

Add an article

the smartphone

a smartphone

show examples

is so addictive that it prevents

student

Add an article

the student

a student

show examples

from concentrating on their studies and even going to

school

Use synonyms

every day. In order to improve the bad situations, (or in order to solve

this

Linking Words

problem ) the program of

study

Use synonyms

should be converted into the new one, where

students

Use synonyms

can choose the subject that they want to take, depending on their interests and needs.

Therefore

Linking Words

Use synonyms

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

should provide liberal arts,

such

Linking Words

as art, music, sports, politics, law, and financial classes. From my own experience,

such

Linking Words

a program made me spend

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

enjoyable time.

Secondly

Linking Words

Use synonyms

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

cooperate with

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

for creating

law

Fix the agreement mistake

laws

show examples

regarding smartphones. The regulation of the usage of

smartphone

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smartphones

show examples

allows

students

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to focus on

Use synonyms

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

to avoid committing crimes via mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

. In conclusion, I believe that some

students

Use synonyms

are disappointed at

school

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because of both the spring of mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

and the difference between what they expect

school

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to do and what they are compelled to do by

school

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Therefore

Linking Words

, I maintain that it should be dealt with by the regulation of mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

and the supply of more variety of studies supported by

Use synonyms

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

kanchanakularathna1991Sat Aug 19 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

294 words

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Fully explain your ideas

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

In advertising, businesses usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

You arranged to visit a friend in Canada but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of the visit. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •explain the important event •apologies for the situation •suggest a new arrangement

some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries has a positive affect; others say it could contribute to a loss of the country's identities. Do you agree or disagree