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Band 4.5

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads.

#government #money #railways #roads
In
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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modern times,
government
Add an article
the government
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 always improve many facilities for their inhabitants to live their life
more
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apply
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easier including providing
a roads
Correct the article-noun agreement
a road
roads
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 to serve the needs of the people. Some argue that they should spend
money
 on
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
instead
 of roads. In the following
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 both of these views will be discussed. On the one hand,
railway
Add an article
the railway
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 provides various
advantage
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advantages
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 to the inhabitants.
Firstly
, it
make
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makes
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 more
uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
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 of the area in the air to be more benefits rather than a normal road on the ground.
Secondly
, it gives the user an option to choose a faster way if they are in a hurry situation.
Moreover
,
Railway
 does help reduce The traffic
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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caused by the limited space of transportation.
Thirdly
,
due to
 the climate change crisis, part of
the
Correct article usage
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global warming
was causes
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was caused
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 by the pollution that came from
the
Correct article usage
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vehicles. Railways can provide an alternative way for people who do not want to cause any pollution to the earth.
On the other hand
,
to build
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building
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 a
railway
 requires loads of
money
 from the government budget. It may be better to use
those
Change the determiner
that money
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money
 on
a
Correct article usage
apply
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and priority matters
such
 as
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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 it on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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hospital facilities. In
conclusions
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conclusion
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, I personally think that
although
railway
Correct article usage
a railway
show examples
 requires a lot of
money
 to build, it is worth
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
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. Not
Only
Fix capitalization
only
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 provides
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
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 to the habitants but
also
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 pollution at the same time.
Submitted by ppunyisaa on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: