IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads.

#government #money #railways #roads
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In
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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modern times,
government
Add an article
the government
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 always improve many facilities for their inhabitants to live their life
more
Change the word
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easier including providing
a roads
Correct the article-noun agreement
a road
roads
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 to serve the needs of the people. Some argue that they should spend
money
Use synonyms
 on
Use synonyms
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
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instead
Linking Words
 of roads. In the following
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 both of these views will be discussed. On the one hand,
Use synonyms
railway
Add an article
the railway
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 provides various
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 to the inhabitants.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 more
uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
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 of the area in the air to be more benefits rather than a normal road on the ground.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it gives the user an option to choose a faster way if they are in a hurry situation.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Railway
Use synonyms
 does help reduce The traffic
that
Correct pronoun usage
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caused by the limited space of transportation.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the climate change crisis, part of
the
Correct article usage
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global warming
was causes
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was caused
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 by the pollution that came from
the
Correct article usage
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vehicles. Railways can provide an alternative way for people who do not want to cause any pollution to the earth.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
to build
Change the verb form
building
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 a
railway
Use synonyms
 requires loads of
money
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 from the government budget. It may be better to use
those
Change the determiner
that money
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money
Use synonyms
 on
a
Correct article usage
apply
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and priority matters
such
Linking Words
 as
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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 it on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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hospital facilities. In
conclusions
Fix the agreement mistake
conclusion
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, I personally think that
although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
railway
Correct article usage
a railway
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 requires a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 to build, it is worth
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
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. Not
Only
Fix capitalization
only
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 provides
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
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 to the habitants but
also
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
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 pollution at the same time.
Submitted by ppunyisaa on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: